Cliff and Mackenzie

Snow Days!

2012-01-19T23:20:00.000-08:00

We've had some crazy weather here the last few days! The snow started on Sunday afternoon and has been on and off since then with about 5 inches since Tuesday evening. I missed school on Wednesday and Thursday and will tomorrow as well. It has been nice to have some quiet days at home, especially given that Cliff's been working from home too. I've been cooking, reading, napping, and enjoying these quiet moments. The puppies have enjoyed the playtime in the yard!

Mackenzie's Reading List for 2012

2012-01-02T15:07:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! The beginning of a new year always makes me reflective and this year is no different. One of the things I'm thinking about most this year is how I spend my time. This year I'd like to spend more time reading books and less time reading Facebook updates!

The last few years, I've attempted to set up a plan for books to read throughout the year and then add to the list as my interests lead. Last year, I read only about half of the books on my reading list. This year, I have fewer books on my list to read, so that I have the space to read additional books as time will allow and changing interests arise. The books on my list have come through recommendations of friends, areas I need to grow in, and books on Cliff's dresser that look interesting!

Marriage Matters by Winston T. Smith
Trusting God by Jerry Bridges
"Don't Make Me Count to Three!" by Ginger Plowman
One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp
Counsel from the Cross by Elyse Fitzpatrick
Legacy of Faith by Lydia Brownback
Give Them Grace by Elyse Fitzpatrick
Radical by David Platt
The Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan
A Meal with Jesus by Tim Chester

I'll also be reading through the Bible this year, using a Bible reading plan suggested by Pastor John Piper.

Lots to read! I certainly look forward to seeing how God uses each of these books to teach me over the course of this year. What are you reading?

Adoption Update: Pursuing Foster to Adopt

2011-12-10T15:03:00.000-08:00

The other day I looked at our blog to see when we last posted something, and realized it's been almost two months. Oops. Then, I had the thought to see when we last posted an update on the adoption process, and was shocked to find it has been over a year. Double oops. So Mackenzie and I agreed it was way past time to give a little update.

But to be honest there isn't a whole lot to share. When people ask where we're at in the process or how things are going, I usually reply with "We're in the hurry-up-and-wait phase." There have been a few possibilities along the way (phone calls and emails about potential leads) that haven't moved forward or worked out for one reason or another, but by in large we've been continuing to wait and pray for the child or children God has planned for us.

Last February (almost a year after we started the process) was the closest we came to having a child placed in our home (literally twenty-four hours away before the birth mom decided to continue raising her eight-month-old son). It was by far one of the hardest and lowest points in this journey, but also one where we experienced God's comfort and peace most evidently through the people he's placed in our lives.

After that experience we struggled to be as excited about the process, and started to feel like a child being placed in our home was never going to happen. We discussed whether we should consider other possibilities, like international adoption, but agreed to wait until the end of this year to make any changes.

Well, about a month or so ago, we both started to sense God calling us to consider getting our foster to adopt license, even though we had both been resistant to that option from the very beginning (be careful what you tell God you won't do). We're on an email chain that periodically sends out info on kids in need of a family and home. Oftentimes, the kids are older than what we've been hoping and praying for (usually five and up), but in the last month or so there have been a couple of kids in the age range we're considering.

In both cases it initially seemed as if the kids were legally free (i.e. ready for adoption), but turned out they were still in foster care and pursuing the possibility of adoption. Because we don't have our foster license, we weren't eligible to have those kids placed with us (plus they were so darn cute there were several families interested). But this led to us having a serious conversation about getting our license.

So we contacted the social worker in our area of King County who oversees the foster to adopt program, got another packet of paperwork to complete (oh joy!), went to an info meeting last week, and are now planning to do another round of home visits in January. It's still possible that an opportunity for a private adoption could come along, but God continues to challenge our notion of what this whole thing is going to look like.

Foster to adopt would mean that any child or children placed in our home would technically be in foster care, which means the State's ultimate goal would be reunification with their biological parents (most often the mother). But at that point the state would have determined that adoption is a viable option to pursue, often because biological parents haven't met the requirements for their child/children to be returned to them. As you can imagine, this means there's a greater "risk" for us as the potential adoptive family, but we believe God is calling us to love any child in our home for a long as he has them there. As our friend, Michele, explained at our initial adoption info meeting, none of us is guaranteed any amount of time with our children, regardless of whether they're biological kids or not.

So I guess there's more "update" to share in our adoption journey than I initially realized. We appreciate your continued prayers and support, and hope to do a better job this coming year sharing periodic updates. Specifically, please pray that the licensing process moves quickly (we got fingerprinted this morning), so that we can be considered for possible placements soon. And as always, please pray for patience and faith as we continue to wait.

Sheet Mulching

2011-10-21T10:45:00.000-07:00

I can't quite believe it's been over two months since our last blog post. With the start of Mackenzie's school year in September and all that comes with the fall church rhythms, it's been a busy two months for us. But during that time, we've managed to spend a few spare hours in our yard, finishing up our summer growing season, and preparing our yard for fall and winter.

The two biggest projects on the docket were trimming our overgrown apple tree, which Mackenzie's dad, Jim, and I tackled a few weeks ago, and expanding our garden area for next spring.

For the latter we decided to try our hand at sheet mulching rather than renting a tiller and fighting with the grass and weeds. First off, we made a trip to Bed, Bath & Beyond and Pier 1 to collect cardboard boxes to cover the area. Fortunately, Pier 1 had just received their Christmas shipment (already!?!), so they were more than happy to give us all the boxes we wanted.

We then visited our local landscape supply store, West Seattle Landscape & Stone Supply, to purchase 3 1/2 yards of cedar grove compost--enough to cover a 26 by 14 foot area 3 inches deep, bringing our total garden area to 26 by 26 feet.

They were able to deliver it the same day, so I got right to work, trying to avoid the coming rainy weather. It took about two hours to move and spread most of the compost, and then I finished the job a few days later. It was fun watching our garden expand, and picturing what we will plant next spring. (We definitely want to try growing a few pumpkins next year.) Now we wait for the cardboard and compost to work their magic. Bye-bye grass and weeds!

Can't wait for spring!

Potato Harvest

2011-09-07T14:26:00.000-07:00

One of the things we tried in our garden this year was growing potatoes in an old metal trash can. The theory behind this method is that as the potato stems sprout, you can add more dirt and compost to the trash can, and trick the potatoes into thinking they're still trying to reach the surface. As they continue to grow up, they produce more tubers (the part of the plant we eat) along the way. Once the stems sprout and then eventually die, you know it's time to harvest your potatoes.

This week, we decided to see what we had produced. We laid out a tarp and dumped the dirt and potatoes plants onto it. We then sifted through the dirt in search of a bountiful harvest.

Unfortunately, the bounty was lacking. There were a few good size spuds, but most were bite-sized at best. We hadn't been terribly consistent about adding dirt to the trash can, which might have impacted our results. But the lousy summer weather certainly could have been a factor.

We'll definitely give it another go next year!

Compost Bin

2011-09-05T14:13:00.000-07:00

As part of expanding our gardening efforts, I decided to build an additional composting bin that would allow us to store more composting materials and be more intentional about layering "brown" materials (high amounts of carbon) and "green" materials (high amounts of nitrogen). The suggested ratio between the two is 30:1, which is good because our chickens eat most of our "green" materials anyway.

Thankfully, this project didn't take nearly as long as the chicken coop (and only required one Home Depot trip), but it was still fun to break out the ol' power saw.

The front of the bin is made of cedar slats to make it easier to turn and remove the compost.

"Cooking" the compost.

Dairy Adventure: Cheese

2011-08-10T14:08:00.000-07:00

Another one of my goals this summer was to make cheese. Mozzarella is a cheese I pretty much always have in our fridge and enjoy pretty frequently. I thought it would be interesting to learn how to make it.

Just as it was helpful when I made butter, the book Home Dairy with Ashley English was an amazing resource when making cheese. The author lists lots of different cheeses and provides step by step visuals to guide you. Mozzarella is considered an easy cheese to make at home because it doesn't require any aging. I was shocked at how easy it was.

The key with mozzarella and any cheese in general is beginning with high quality milk.
The challenge with mozzarella is the milk can't be pasteurized. Because we live in Seattle, I was able to find local, raw milk at a market near our home and used that. You can't make mozzarella with the milk you buy from the grocery store...it simply won't work. (Unless your grocery store sells raw or minimally pasteurized milk.)

You need a few special ingredients and tools to transform your milk - rennet, citric acid powder, and a thermometer. You bring your milk and citric acid to about 86 degrees, add the rennet and some water and bring that to 104 degrees. Almost instantly when I added the rennet, the milk began forming curds and whey. Then I separated the curds into a bowl, warmed them a bit in the microwave, and kneaded the cheese. After a few minutes, it was ready.

I enjoyed a sliver and put the rest in our fridge. Tonight we're having grilled pizzas with homemade mozzarella and roasted veggies. I'm looking forward to that!

I probably won't regularly make my cheese. I enjoyed learning how to do it and was pretty amazed with how the cheese turned out. The challenge is the cost. Raw milk is not cheap ($6.99 per half gallon) and the amount of mozzarella I made with a 1/2 gallon of milk was not considerable. I may make it again if the mozzarella was the highlight of the meal, but for day to day eating and enjoying, I'll stick to the great and inexpensive mozzarella I get from my trusty Costco. The taste is very similar.

I'm hoping to try homemade ricotta next. Supposedly that is very simple to make and tastes dramatically different than anything you can buy at a store. I'll let you know when and if I try it!

Dairy Adventure: Butter

2011-08-07T15:32:00.000-07:00

This summer I added to my list of goals that I wanted to try making my butter. I'm not sure exactly why...I'd read a few blog posts about people making their own and to be honest, I was intrigued. I've made yogurt a few times now and it is so easy and much more delicious than anything you can buy in a store. I hoped butter would be equally as wonderful!

I checked out Home Dairy with Ashley English from our local library. It is an amazing resource and a book I definitely have on my list to add to my personal collection. In this book, Ashley carefully walks you through each step of the butter making process with careful notes and very helpful pictures.

Butter is made from heavy cream. Basically, you whip it at a very high speed for about 9 minutes and all of a sudden you have butter! My Kitchen Aid mixer did all the work! One tip I read online was to drape a kitchen towel around your mixer as you whip the cream, otherwise you have quite a mess. After a few minutes, the cream separates and you have butter and buttermilk. I poured my buttermilk into a Mason jar and will use it to make pancakes. All you do next is rinse your butter, mix it with a bit of salt and store it.

The taste is unrivaled. We did a taste comparison with the butter we had in our fridge and the fresh butter I made - Cliff was shocked at how he could really tell the difference. I hope to never buy butter again!

Stay tuned...I'll share about my mozzarella adventures soon!

New Job

2011-07-10T17:04:00.000-07:00

Two years ago, I left Woodridge Elementary to become an Elementary Technology Curriculum Coach (ETCC). I was ready for a change and new experiences. As an ETCC, I had responsibilities at Stevenson Elementary and Spiritridge Elementary Schools supporting teachers on the implementation of curriculum, instructional technology, and providing professional development. I also had responsibilities as a member of the district curriculum department working to develop the K-5 curriculum. I learned so much in this role and am thankful for the work my team was able to accomplish and the many people I was able to meet and learn from; however, this spring I decided I needed a change. I missed working with students. I missed working with one group of professionals. I missed going to one location for work. I missed having a schedule. I missed teaching.

In light of all that and after much prayer and discussions with Cliff, I explored the possibility of returning to Woodridge. It is a wonderful school community and an amazing staff and principal. Thankfully, it was possible and next year I will be teaching 2nd grade at Woodridge. Having taught special education, 4th grade, and 5th grade at Woodridge, I'm excited to be back to with a community I love and working with younger students.

While I'm loving every minute of my summer vacation, I am looking forward to all that the next school year will bring.

Repurposing

2011-07-08T19:58:00.000-07:00

In the last few weeks, Cliff and I have really tried to take a hard look at our home and consider if the space we have is being utilized well. One of the areas that has bothered me for awhile now is our front entry. It had two hooks available for coats, jackets, purses, etc. but it lacked personality.

While garage "sailing" a few weeks ago, I found three old windows for $1 each! It was SUCH an amazing bargain. I bought one and then Cliff and I went back for the other two. We were thrilled. We ended up putting one outside on our fence and were so happy with how it turned out. I had a vision for how to use one of the others inside to spruce up our boring entry.

I took the old window and attached four hooks that I bought at Target very inexpensively. Then I found some cork squares at Staples and trimmed those down to fit inside the window panes. Then Cliff attached it to the wall for me!

Now, as we come and go from our home, we see faces of our favorite people - family and friends who love and care for us, yet still have hooks there for all the items that must be hung. I think this was a successful project!

We still have one more window - any ideas for us?

Garden Update

2011-07-03T12:25:00.000-07:00

We have lots growing in our garden now, but the Seattle "spring" was overly cool and wet this year. Some of our little seeds have boycotted growing altogether, but thankfully in the last few weeks, as the sun has been peeking out a bit more, they've begun to actually grow!

Here's a few pictures to give you an idea of how things are coming along. We're hoping July brings some warmer, sunnier days so our tomatoes, peppers, and zucchini get the sun they need to produce a lot of goodies!

Berry patch - raspberries, blackberries, and blueberries!

red cabbage

collard greens

lettuce and kale

potatoes

zucchini

sugar snap peas

tomato plants

Rooster in the Hen House

2011-06-30T19:17:00.000-07:00

Turns out, we don't have four hens, but three hens and a rooster! Bethula Jo turned out to be a boy.

We've had our suspicions all along, but as Cliff was mowing the lawn on Monday night, he heard three distinct "cock-a-doodle-dos" coming from the coop. He knew instantly that Bethula's days were numbered.

In the city of Seattle, you can have up to eight hens; however, city ordinance does not allow for any roosters. That makes perfect sense considering they are LOUD and we have neighbors! "Bethula" was just beginning to find his voice, but he was pretty disruptive.

Not knowing exactly what to do with him, I called my chicken friend Sarah for her advice. When I couldn't get a hold of her, I called a local feed store. They've been so helpful all along in answering questions, I was sure they'd know what to do. The suggestions from the feed store were simple - eat him or find someone who will. Not wanting to butcher a chicken this week, I posted him on Craigslist and a couple picked him up on Wednesday morning.

Our flock is down to three. Blanche, Amelia, and Delaney are holding strong and are doing great. I am sad that Bethula isn't around anymore and I am definitely going to miss the beautiful eggs that Ameraucana chickens lay, but Cliff has assured me that I we can try for another Ameraucana hen next year.

Chicken Update

2011-06-21T21:08:00.000-07:00

The chickens look a little different these days. They are getting so big! They have been out in their coop for over a month now and they are doing quite well. They love chasing each other to get the best worms or snag the best of the scraps we deliver to them. They're pretty entertaining to watch. I'll admit there have been a couple of nights where Cliff and I have gone out just to see them running around and interacting with each other.

Since they do look so different, I thought I'd share a few pictures of them so you can see their progress. We're excited for their first eggs, which should arrive towards the end of August or the beginning of September.

Living Garbage Disposals

2011-06-15T15:29:00.000-07:00

Our four chickens are getting so big! It is hard to believe they were once the snugly little peepers that they were. I'm sure my parents say the same thing about me.

Having chickens has been even easier than we thought it would be, and we'd heard it was pretty easy. One of the things I love most about having chickens is the fact that they eat all of our table scraps. Just about anything we eat - they eat! Some of their favorites these days...cream cheese, edamame, carrot peels, and apple cores.

We've been very diligent about saving our compost to give to the chickens and not only does it benefit them to eat a variety of foods (their eggs will taste better), but it also reduces the amount of chicken feed they will eat. I just love the idea of not wasting anything.

7 Years

2011-06-12T08:33:00.001-07:00

June 12, 2004

Today, Cliff and I celebrate 7 years of marriage! In some ways, it feels like we've been together much longer. Sometimes it is hard to imagine life before knowing him. We met each other as juniors in high school and started dating at the end of our senior year. It is amazing how quickly time flies!

In other ways, it feels as though we've only just begun this journey of marriage. By God's grace, we hope to live a long life together. At community group yesterday, a good friend's mom and dad were there and they mentioned they'd just celebrated their 39th anniversary! It got me thinking about what it will be like to spend that many years loving one another and serving God together. It is exciting to think about.

I am overwhelmed today at the way we've both grown and changed by God's grace and work in our lives. I am immensely thankful for a husband who leads in repentance, pursues me, and desires to know me more than the day he married me. I do not question whether Cliff loves me, I know he does. What I'm thankful for is to know that Cliff loves Jesus more than he loves me.

Since Cliff is at church working all day on Sundays, we had our anniversary celebration on Friday night. We had a lovely meal at a local restaurant called Avalon, walked on Alki, grabbed Dairy Queen blizzards on the way home and watched True Grit. Tonight, on our actual anniversary, we're planning to pick up Thai take-out from our favorite Thai restaurant on the planet and watch our wedding video. It should be a good time!

Love to all of our friends and family who have spoken into our relationship, prayed for us, challenged us, and continue to walk this road with us.

New Niece!

2011-06-09T16:52:00.000-07:00

On May 17, our family got a bit bigger. Auburn Mackenzie Luettel was born, and I instantly fell in love with her. My sweet sister and brother-in-law welcomed their beautiful daughter into the world near their home in Kansas. My mom and I got on a plane the day Katie was admitted to the hospital to be there as soon as we could. Amazingly after a long day of flights, we arrived at the hospital and actually saw Auburn on her birthday!

It was such an amazing blessing to be there with Katie, Brent, and Auburn. To care for them, snuggle that baby girl, and spend time with them. Truly, it was a precious week. Cliff and I are excited to head back to Kansas for ten days with them at the beginning of July. Cliff has only met his newest niece through Skype, so he's anxious to have some snuggle time with her.

Miss Auburn with her eyes open!

Snuggling with her daddy

She's already a Chiefs fan!

Coop Complete

2011-05-04T17:26:00.000-07:00

Like any good do-it-yourself project, the coop construction took longer and cost more than originally expected, but I'm happy to announce that it's finally complete. It turned out to be a lot of fun--even the seemingly endless trips to Home Depot--and I'm pleased with the results.

Doors to the nesting boxes (above) and storage (below).

Checking out their new home.

In the next few days the chicks will move in complete, but for now, they're just spending the day in the coop, and continuing to sleep in our guestroom/barn at night.

Extreme Couponing?

2011-04-27T18:13:00.000-07:00

In the past few months, I've started reading a few blogs that teach you how to grocery shop using coupons. It doesn't seem like something that would be that hard, but it does take some strategy!

My desire in using coupons is to steward our resources well and be thoughtful about how we spend our money. I am by no means incredibly skilled at using coupons, and I read some blogs where the women are AMAZING! They go to the grocery store and get most of their groceries for free. One of the blogs has a writer whose grocery budget for a family of five is $100 a month. That is impressive.

There is a new show on TLC that is all about extreme couponing...multiple transactions, buying many of the items on sale, clearing the shelves of all 50 jars of mustard, etc. I am not interested in that.

I have a few things I think about as I go to the store:

What is on sale? I make my meal plan based on what I already have or what is on sale that week.
Do not buy any item just because I have a coupon for it.
Don't buy more of any one item than we could use before the expiration date.
One rule I almost always break is...only buy what can fit in the freezer. Usually what happens is we have to do the "freezer puzzle" once I get home from the store. Good thing Cliff is so good at it!

Today, without much planning, I grabbed my coupon envelope and the weekly store ad and headed to Safeway. I bought everything pictured below for a little more than $9. I saved 67%! It was my most successful shopping trip yet! It was actually fun!

My $9.50 Safeway purchase today!

Field Trip

2011-04-24T05:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday the sun was shining and the weather was the nicest it has been in months, so I decided to let the girls experience the great outdoors for the first time.

At first, they were quite reticent to leave the cardboard box I brought them out in, but after I put Blanche in the grass, the rest followed suit. They were nervous to be sure, and understandably so as all they've experienced is our guest bedroom! Apparently, they found me to be comforting, which means we've "bonded" and they saw me as a safe place. They all sat in my lap for quite a few minutes until I forced them out into the wild.

Once they realized they could eat the grass, dig in the dirt, and run around, they were off. They chose a small garden to scamper about in, but did not stray from one another or from me.

They are going to LOVE being outside. Once the temperatures will allow, we'll move them out to the coop. We have probably about 3 weeks until that can happen.

Struggling to leave the safety of the cardboard box...

Seeking safety on my lap...my jeans were a bit of a mess after this "snuggle time."

Outside for the first time!

Happy Birthday!

2011-04-23T13:41:00.000-07:00

Today is Cliff's birthday! I am so thankful that I have been able to spend the last 10 birthdays with this amazing man. I am immensely grateful that I get to be his wife. We celebrated today with a breakfast on Alki and then worked in the yard for a few hours.

Happy Birthday! I love you, babe!

Cliff and his new drill

Chick Update: Week 4

2011-04-20T17:02:00.000-07:00

We're nearly a month into chicken ownership...can you believe that?! It has been really fun and completely amazing to watch them grow and change. Considering how big they already are, it is hard to imagine them living in our guest room for another month. Maybe by some miraculous turn of events, we'll have consistently warm weather and they can go out earlier...a girl can dream.

Check out their growth progress:

Blanche Katherine

Amelia Estelle

Bethula Jo

Delaney Elizabeth

All the girls!

Coop Update

2011-04-17T10:25:00.000-07:00

At this point the coop is about 90% complete. I just need to install the doors on the far side where the nesting boxes are, as well as the storage space beneath them. It looks like we might actually have a few sunny days in a row this week (finally!), so hopefully I'll get a chance to finish the coop this week. The chicks are getting big so fast, they might need to move in ahead of schedule.

(side weather note: We've yet to break 60 degrees this month and if that remains the case, it'll be the first time in history for the month of April.)

added cedar siding

faithful "helper"

side view (Can you spot Gunner's friend in the pic?)

one more side to complete

nearly complete

Chick Update: Week 3

2011-04-14T05:02:00.000-07:00

Okay, so by now, we know most of you are sick of hearing about chickens...but we just can't help ourselves! We really are having a great time with them.

Right now, they're approaching an "awkward stage" much like we all experienced in middle school. Their feathers are coming in and replacing their beautiful, soft down. At this point, they're all able to fly up to the ledge of the brooder. Sometimes they'll overestimate their strength and come flying out of the brooder all together. Such fun!

Here are the pictures of them at the end of their third week.

Blanche

Amelia

Delaney

Bethula

All the girls!

Commissioned at MHC West Seattle

2011-04-13T10:27:00.000-07:00

About a month ago, I had the honor and privilege of being installed as a pastor of Mars Hill Church at our Ballard campus. As Pastor Bill shares in the video, I was then sent out to serve as the Pastor of Biblical Living at our West Seattle campus.

Two weeks ago, I was officially commissioned at the West Seattle campus, and prayed over by the other elders there. In the video below I had the opportunity to share my heart for West Seattle, my call to this particular role, and how the people at the West Seattle campus can be praying for Mackenzie and me as we pursue adoption.

Pastor Cliff Ellis Commissioned from Mars Hill Church | West Seattle on Vimeo.

Personal Retreat - Reflections

2011-04-07T11:31:00.000-07:00

I had my first ever "Personal Retreat" this morning. I enjoyed about two hours down at the Tully's on Alki in front of the fireplace with an americano, listening to Mumford & Sons on Pandora, watching the ferries go by, and writing. To begin, I created a document based on the questions and verses listed in Shopping for Time: How to Do It All and NOT Be Overwhelmed. This helped guide my prayer and reflection.

It was an amazing time to reflect on my life and assess how I'm doing in the following areas:

Growing in Godliness
Loving my family
Serving in my church
Building relationships
Attending to my work
Caring for my physical health

I not only spent time praying and thinking about what God would have me see that is and isn't working in my life, but also putting a few plans in place to grow in each of the areas above. I was blessed by my time this morning and look forward to a quarterly personal retreat. As I'm not inclined to regular times of reflection, I pray this intentionality will help me grow in this area.

Have you ever done anything like this? I'd encourage you to give it a try!

Personal Retreat

2011-04-06T23:59:00.000-07:00

Today I read a book by Carolyn Mahaney and her daughters called Shopping for Time: How to Do It All and NOT be Overwhelmed. It was an extremely quick read, but contained some very helpful suggestions and opportunities for reflection.

Like many people, I feel as though I have to do it all...I definitely have my days where I sinfully attempt to be all things to all people. The reality is, I can't be. In fact, that desire is rooted in sinful pride and self-sufficiency. This book was a good reminder that God has called me to very specific priorities, and helped me see the benefit of periodically checking in to see if I'm living in light of those.

The most significant "take away" I had after reading this book, was the concept of a personal retreat. I am not good at taking a focused time to reflect, journal, assess, and seek God's plan my life. Cliff and I do this with our calendars and our finances, but I haven't taken time to do this individually; to pray over the past few months, assess specific areas of life related to my priorities, and plan for the coming months.

In the book, Carolyn Mahaney and her daughters suggest taking a few hours, a day, or even an overnight to get away, pray, plan, journal, reflect, and set specific goals and next steps. I can't remember the last time I did something like this, and to be honest, I'm not sure I ever really have. Conveniently, this is my spring break, so I'm planning to get away tomorrow morning. I'm going to get up early, head to a local coffee shop, and spend some time with a journal and my Bible.

I pray this time is helpful and beneficial for me and honoring to God. I'm excited to see how He will use this to grow and develop me.

"Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life."
2 Corinthians 3:5-6

Chick Update: Week 2

2011-04-06T22:10:00.000-07:00

Our chicks are now two weeks old. Thankfully we've yet to identify any of our lovely hens as roosters!

At this point, I'd estimate they've pretty much all doubled in size in the past two weeks and are losing their soft, fluffy down and gaining their feathers. You can see Blanche and Amelia are developing much faster than Delaney and Bethula. It is amazing to go to bed and then wake up and be able to notice differences in their feathers, size, and personalities. At this point, they're all attempting to fly...some with more success than others.

Here are some updated pictures...

Amelia...becoming bolder as the days go by!

Blanche...her feathers are amazing.

Bethula...little girl, but starting to give her wings a try.

Delaney...developing slowly, but is as pretty as ever.

All the girls! You can see who rules the roost.

Gunner and the Girls

2011-04-04T21:37:00.000-07:00

Gunner is VERY interested in the chicks. He's not agressive, just fascinated. I think they'll be good friends, but right now he and Blanche are just beginning their relationship. Take a look at this video from the other night...the last few seconds are our favorite!

Coop Update

2011-04-03T18:01:00.000-07:00

The chicken coop is really starting to come together. Here are some pictures of the progress I've made the last two weeks.

door

nesting boxes

roost

frame for the chicken run

side view

coming together

The Chicks: 1 Week Old

2011-03-30T17:21:00.000-07:00

The girls are now one week old, with the exception of Bethula who is a day behind her sisters. They're thriving, full of energy, and each have a VERY different personality. It is fun to get to know the uniqueness of each chick.

Blanche is by far the feistiest and is ruling this roost! I'm sure that will continue as they grow. She is already able to fly out of the brooder and is the largest of the four.

Delaney is very calm and mellow. She and Bethula are small and more docile.

Bethula has yet to be formally introduced on the blog. She arrived a day after the others and has beautiful coloring. She is a great addition to the crew.

Amelia has quite a personality and will give Blanche a run for her money in terms of dominance. She is currently trying to fly out of the brooder as well, but she isn't having any success yet.

Here are all the girls together in their brooder. They enjoy taking a nice, long nap under the heat lamp. They're getting bigger by the day!

The Girls Arrive

2011-03-24T18:20:00.000-07:00

Since marrying Cliff, I've never lived with girls. In fact, we've brought two more boys (dogs that is) into this small home of ours. Today that all changed...girls became the majority in the Ellis home.

We now have three lovely chicks who will become hens! Well, we hope they'll be hens. We'll see if the feed supply store where we bought them made any errors in the next few weeks.

We welcomed Delaney, Blanche, and Amelia into our home this afternoon. I picked them up from Portage Bay Grange after work today. I wanted different breeds, so that we could really appreciate their different personalities, egg shell colors, and unique looks. When choosing the breeds, we looked for cold hardy birds who have high egg production and who are also known to have docile personalities. I figured they needed to put up with two crazy dogs, so docile would be important! I ended up selecting one of each - Rhode Island Red, Light Brahma, and Golden Sex-Link.

I am going to get an Ameracauna in the next few days. They are very popular breed known for their beautiful colored eggs, so they're harder to find! Her name will be Bethula Jo once she joins the crew.

This is Delaney Elizabeth. She's a Light Brahma:

This is Blanche Katherine. She's a Golden Sex-Link:

This is Amelia Estelle. She's a Rhode Island Red:

We borrowed a brooder from our friend Sarah (my chicken buddy) that the chicks will live in for about 8 weeks. The brooder will stay in our guest room until about May when they'll transition slowly out to their coop.

Come over and meet these sweet girls anytime! We'll keep the pictures coming so you can see how much they grow and change.

Raising the Roof

2011-03-24T09:31:00.000-07:00

Coop construction continued this week after we got back from Mark and Michelle's wedding in Kentucky. We've had a few nice days of weather, and with daylight savings finally starting to payoff, I've been able to grab a few hours here and there in the mornings and evenings to continue working.

This morning, I made another trip to Home Depot (I should seriously consider buying stock) for some roofing material, hinges, and other odds and ends. This evening, I was able to attach the roof, which I framed on Monday. I still need to attach the metal roofing, but it was fun to see what it'll eventually look like.

wood frame for roof

metal roofing

my two helpers

Spring

2011-03-23T16:06:00.000-07:00

I'm so thankful for the sunshine and the way all of our plants are starting to shoot little green sprouts from beneath the dead debris. I hadn't realized how ready for spring I was until I came home from work on Monday and planted dahlias, cut back my rose bushes, and saw my Hellebore blooming in the backyard. Spring is certainly upon us!

I am extremely excited for all that this spring and summer hold. We're adding chickens to our urban garden as well as continuing to improve and learn how to make our vegetable garden even more productive. In addition to what we've grow in the past we'll be adding: rhubarb, butternut squash, pickling cucumbers, and tomatillos.

I'm anxiously awaiting the first lettuce greens, the crisp red radishes, and the gallons of blueberries we hope to harvest again this year.

Wedding Bells

2011-03-22T18:50:00.000-07:00

We had the pleasure of celebrating Mark and Michelle's wedding on Saturday, March 19. What a joy it was to see the two of them get married and commit to spending their lives together. We are so excited to not only have a new sister, but to have a niece, Taylor! She is eight and a complete joy. It was such fun to get to know Michelle's family, meet some of Mark and Michelle's friends, and spend time with the whole Ellis crew.

Here are just a few pictures from the celebration. We're so thankful for the blessing of Michelle and Taylor.

Green Clean

2011-03-17T16:25:00.000-07:00

We recently had a good friend jokingly tell us we are turning into West Seattle hippies...I think she might be right. Well, not really about being hippies, but we are becoming more and more aware of the environment and what we can do to be better stewards of the earth God blessed us with. That's why we've become interested in gardening and growing our own vegetables, raising chickens, and I've recently started making my own cleaning products.

I'm certainly not planning to preach at anyone, but I was pretty amazed to learn how many hazardous chemicals I was using in our home and how easy (and cheap!) it is to use less hazardous products. I was really surprised to learn how few regulations there are around household cleaning products and how many of them are highly toxic.

In making this transition to green cleaners, I'm not planning to throw away the cleaners I already have, but to use them up and not replace them. I've found a number of books at the library full of recipes for all-purpose cleaners, laundry detergent, dishwasher detergent, and more. It is kind of like the real food movement, which is all about eating like our grandparents ate. In thinking about "green clean" it is really about cleaning like our grandparents cleaned.

A couple of resources that have been very helpful for me are:

The West Seattle blog did an article on a local group that had a make your own cleaning products class. Click HERE to read the article and have access to their recipes.
Keeper of the Home: Non Toxic Cleaners You Can Make at Home
I also checked out a few books from the library. One that was quite helpful was: Do It Gorgeously: How to Make Less Toxic, Less Expensive, and More Beautiful Products

I'm just starting slowly, but am intrigued at how easy it is to make these products and how well they work. The dishwasher detergent is so inexpensive and works so well! Give it a try. Let me know what you think!

Pastor Cliff [video]

2011-03-16T14:36:00.000-07:00

The video from this past Sunday is now online. Check it out.

Starting Seeds

2011-03-14T16:39:00.000-07:00

Surprisingly amidst coop construction, unbelievable rain, and typical weekend busyness, I was able to get our first round of seeds planted on Saturday. It felt so good to be back out working in the yard and covered in dirt. As Cliff was building the coop for the chickens we're getting at the end of the month, I amended our raised veggie beds by adding fertilizer and compost. Then I sectioned the beds into square feet and planted kale, lettuce, spinach, sugar snap peas, beets, and swiss chard.

I'm excited to see the seeds begin to sprout!

Pastor Cliff

2011-03-13T16:38:00.000-07:00

By God's grace, Cliff officially became a pastor at Mars Hill Church today. Standing on the stage next to him as some of the other pastors prayed over us and officially called him pastor for the first time was a humbling and amazing experience.

Over the last few weeks, as I knew this day was approaching, I've been reflecting on the last eleven years of our relationship, recalling that we met during our senior year of high school when he wasn't a Christian to seeing him saved by Jesus and begin to walk in faith as a freshman in college. Since then, we've been blessed by Christian community and godly men who have loved and discipled Cliff along the way and continue to do so. It has been a great joy to see the way God has given Cliff a new heart and used it for His glory.

In the next few weeks, Cliff will transition from his role at the Mars Hill Ballard campus to be the Pastor of Biblical Living at the Mars Hill West Seattle campus. We are so humbled and amazed by God's work in our lives - drawing us to Seattle, burdening us for the neighborhood of West Seattle, and finally making a way for Cliff to serve the people of this community through ministry. Praise God!

**We will post the video from one of the services today as soon as it is available!

Coop Construction

2011-03-11T16:51:00.000-08:00

Well, it finally happened. Mackenzie wore me down and talked me into getting chickens. She's been trying to hatch (get it?) this scheme for quite some time, citing the numerous benefits of raising chickens, including fresh eggs (which I won't eat), free, fresh manure (which I could do without), and feathered fun (we'll see about that one).

But what really attracted me to the idea was the opportunity to do a little carpentry work. Shortly after we moved into our house five years ago, we built a shed in our backyard to add some much needed storage space. Since then, the only real carpentry work I've done is building our raised veggie beds (not much to it). So as we thumbed through book after book from the library about raising chickens, I started getting excited about the challenge designing and building a coop.

While all the books have proven informative, the most helpful by far, in terms of coop construction, has been Building Chicken Coops for Dummies. It provides both basic carpentry tips and tricks, as well as specifics on must-haves and luxury items for chicken coops. We went with a fairly basic plan with a few modifications to utilize the location we chose.

So this morning I made the first of what I'm sure will be many trips to Home Depot to gather some supplies and tools to get this project started. My goal for the day was to get the coop framed and placed on the concrete pier blocks. Cutting the boards and building the frame didn't take too long (after a second trip to Home Depot to get the right kind of nails), but leveling the concrete pier blocks took some time. But I was still able to get as far along as I'd hoped.

Check out the pics below and stay tuned for more updates from Mackenzie on the chicks themselves, which we hope to buy at the end of March, as well as my progress on the coop.

The Book List Revisited

2011-03-01T20:13:00.000-08:00

I've read a few books on my list for this year, but of course I'm behind...or at least I feel like I am. I find that I go on reading binges. I consume books for a week or two and then don't read for a few weeks. The last few months have been so busy that I haven't read much.

From my 2011 Book List, so far I've read:

Be Still, My Soul: Embracing God's Purpose and Provision in Suffering by Nancy Guthrie
Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to Joy by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas
Coop by Michael Perry

Right now I'm reading:

Every Thought Captive by Jerusha Clark

I think I'm going to try Farm City next. Can you tell I'm ready for spring? Coop and Farm City are just encouraging that excitement.

What have you read so far this year that you've enjoyed? Anything you'd recommend?

Long Time...

2011-02-15T16:26:00.000-08:00

There has been quite a gap in our posting in the last couple of months...we were on a roll there for awhile! To be honest, this new year has brought new challenges and even less time to devote to our blog.

Not to worry...we're still here and will continue to post from time to time, but right now is just a particularly busy time for us. We'd appreciate your prayers as we continue in the adoption process. No news at this point, as we're waiting and trusting that God will bless us with children according to his perfect plan.

Thanks for checking in!

Much love,
C & M

**We'll leave you with this picture from New Year's Eve. Cliff's parents hosted a fantastic Retro Prom themed party...if you couldn't tell, we are "from" the 1980's.

Mackenzie's Reading List - 2011

2011-01-03T06:39:00.000-08:00

Last year I started what I hope will become an annual tradition of selecting the books I'd like to read over the course of the coming year. Planning in this way helped me be intentional about my reading. I really enjoyed the process of selecting the books at the beginning of the year, buying and borrowing them, and then actually reading! My list is a bit longer this year, and I'm sure I'll continue to add to it as the months go by.

Many of the books on my list were recommended by friends, and I like that. It's nice to know when a particular book has been meaningful to someone you love and care about.

So without further ado, here are the twenty books I plan to read in 2011:

Be Still, My Soul: Embracing God's Purpose and Provision in Suffering by Nancy Guthrie
You Can Change by Tim Chester
Desiring God by John Piper
Every Thought Captive by Jerusha Clark
Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp
Road Map to Holland: How I Found My Way Through My Son's First Two Years With Down Syndrome by Jennifer Graf Groneberg
Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to Joy by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Counterfeit Gods by Tim Keller
Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas
Trusting God Even When Life Hurts by Gerry Bridges
Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy by Paul David Tripp
The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis
War of Words by Paul David Tripp
Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life by Donald S. Whitney
Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder
Farm City: The Education of an Urban Farmer by Novella Carpenter
Coop by Michael Perry
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows

Each day I'll also be reading:

The Bible (ESV)
Prayers of an Excellent Wife: Intercession for Him by Andrew Case

What are you reading this year? Anything you think I should add to my list?

Mackenzie's 2010 Book List in Review

2010-12-17T16:00:00.000-08:00

At the beginning of last year, I posted my reading list for the year. I really enjoyed planning what I'd read and being intentional with this area of my life. So much so, that I'm currently working on my reading list for 2011, and I'll share that as soon as it is complete.

Today, though, I thought I'd share with you how I did this past year in completing my reading list. I certainly didn't read everything I'd intended to, but I read most! I also read quite a few books this year that weren't on my list.

Books on my list that I actually read:

Death by Love: Letters from the Cross (Re:Lit) by Mark Driscoll & Gerry Breshears
Womanly Dominion: More Than A Gentle and Quiet Spirit by Mark Chanski
Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands by Paul David Tripp
Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life (P.S.) by Barbara Kingsolver
Real Food: What to Eat and Why by Nina Planck
The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name by Sally Lloyd-Jones
In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto by Michael Pollan
From Clutter to Clarity: Simplifying Life from the Inside Out by Nancy Twigg
Humility: True Greatness by C. J. Mahaney & Joshua Harris

Books I'd planned to read this year, but didn't:

The Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis (I am putting it on my list for 2011.)
The Majesty of the Law by Sandra Day O'Connor (I started it, but lost interest.)
Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist by John Piper (I think I'm intimidated! I am putting it on my list for 2011.)

Books that weren't on my list, but I read this year:

Adopted for Life by Russell Moore - An absolute must read!
Fields of the Fatherless by Tom Davis
Hannah's Hope by Jennifer Saake - As I wrote in my review, apart from Scripture, this book has been the most helpful to me in processing our infertility.
Why Was I Adopted? by Carole Livingston
A Homemade Life by Molly Wizenberg
A Praying Life by Paul R. Miller
So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore
Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet by Jamie Ford
Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus: Experiencing the Peace and Promise of Christmas
by Nancy Guthrie
The Help by Katheryn Stockett
Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God by Francis Chan
One with a Shepherd: The Tears and Triumphs of a Ministry Marriage by Mary Somerville
Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
I probably forgot a few! :)

As I look over the books I've read this year, I can see the trends of the year - infertility, adoption, my growing interest in cooking and food, learning about Biblical womanhood, and a few historical fiction books sprinkled here and there.

I'm thankful for the things I've learned and the way God has used these books to shape and prepare me. I'll share my 2011 list very soon!

Family Time: Coming Soon!

2010-12-14T21:17:00.001-08:00

I am very excited to have only three more days of work this week and then two weeks off for winter break! I am really looking forward to that time away from work and our typical routine and enjoy time with Cliff, friends, and family.

I can hardly wait for our out of town family to arrive! My sister Katie and her husband Brent fly in from Kansas on Sunday evening. Then on Tuesday my brother Bidong arrives from Nebraska to spend about 10 days here in Seattle. We love spending time with Kate, Brent, and Bidong and are so blessed by their friendship and love. (My parents are pretty great too, but they're not traveling in!)

I love that our family will be all together...that we'll be able to enjoy one another, relax, and remember what we're really celebrating. I pray each day that God would continue to burden my heart for Him; that I would be reminded that this season isn't about checking things off my list, decorating, or buying gifts for all the people we love, it is about Jesus.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-25T09:02:00.000-08:00

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

We have much to be thankful for, and I'm grateful we have a whole day set aside to do just that. God is so good, and I'm looking forward to spending today thinking about all He has blessed me with.

We're heading over to my parents house at some point today to enjoy time with one another, eat delicious food, and most importantly thank God for his many blessings.

Wishing you all a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Love,
Mackenzie (& Cliff)

Garden: Season in Review

2010-11-24T09:07:00.000-08:00

We had quite a bit of success in our gardening adventure this year...certainly more than we did last year.

Some reflections:

Our lettuce, zucchini, sugar snap peas, Swiss chard, kale, green beans, garlic, cucumbers, herbs, berries, and potatoes were fantastic! They will all be repeats next year.

Square foot gardening is the way to go...so manageable, maximizes our space and yields, and provides some practical guidance for managing a home garden.

We won't plant potatoes in our raised beds again - they end up taking over! I found some of our red potatoes underneath my tomato plants. Instead, we're planning to plant them in a garbage can so they're contained. More to come on that...

Our carrots were awesome! We will definitely be planting more of them next spring.

Our onions weren't wildly successful...we probably won't use the garden space on them again next year.

Our tomatoes did poorly. The cool summer and huge amount of rain we got this spring and summer did not lead to a booming crop of tomatoes. This was also the case for our poor peppers...we didn't harvest any, which was disappointing considering we had red peppers coming out of our ears last year. We will definitely be trying again next year!

Overall, this year was a success. I've tried my best to "put up" many of our crops either through canning or freezing. I have enough zucchini to make zucchini bread from now until next year's crop comes through.

I look forward to continuing to learn and improve our garden. Lots to think about and plan for next year. Even though we still have a few things out in the garden, our growing season is definitely coming to a close. Certainly because of our mild climate, we could grow through the winter, but I think a break will do us all good.

Adoption Update: Emotional Roller Coaster

2010-11-22T07:00:00.000-08:00

This past week or so has been interesting, to say the least. About a week and a half ago (the same day Mackenzie had her wisdom teeth removed), we heard from Special Delivery, an adoption ministry at Overlake Christian Church. They asked if we were interested in being considered as potential adoptive parents for a child due on December 7. The birth mom had a family selected for her daughter; however, the planned adoptive family withdrew from the adoption plan. Mackenzie and I talked about it, prayed, and decided to be considered as a potential adoptive couple.

The crazy part was we didn't have a profile created or our home study completed. In a matter of a few hours, we rushed to put together a profile to explain our life and family to this birth mom and hire a social worker to write our home study. We also put together a letter to the birth parents explaining who we are and why God has placed a call on our hearts to adopt.

The birth mom's case manager shared our profile and a number of other families' profiles that weekend. We got a call late that Sunday afternoon, saying she chose us and two other families to meet with on Thursday in Yakima, WA.

So on Thursday, we drove to Yakima, braving the snowy conditions, and met with the birth mom, her mom, and a woman from Special Delivery, who facilitated the conversation. Having no idea what to expect, we were thankful that the conversation flowed rather naturally. We talked about how we met, what we liked to do for fun, and our vision for parenting. The conversation lasted for about an hour. We both left feeling like it had went as well as we could have possibly wanted. In fact, the whole week had. Things just kept falling into place.

When we left Yakima on Thursday, the long (sometimes painful) process of waiting began. We continued to pray and temper our excitement that this could possibly be the child God had planned to place in our family. Our friends and family were great throughout the week. They prayed for us, brought meals over, and genuinely shared in our excitement and anticipation.

But unfortunately, I got the call yesterday afternoon letting us know that we were not chosen as the adoptive family. The birth mom's case manager shared that after we left our interview, the birth mom commented: "All the families were great. How am I supposed to decide now?!?" She ended up choosing a family that already has children and was excited for her little girl to have siblings.

We are of course very disappointed, but thankful that we were given this opportunity and were even considered. The case manager asked if she could keep our profile to share with other birth moms, and we of course said yes!

In the last week and a half, we've been praying for God's will to be done and it has...now we're praying that our response would be honoring to him. We know God has a child for us and pray for the day we welcome him or her into our family.

We are so thankful for your prayers, support, love, and encouragement over the last week. It's truly been an emotional roller coaster, but we're thankful God has put so many people in our lives who are willing to ride it with us.

Auction Extravaganza

2010-11-19T16:48:00.000-08:00

Each year, Antioch Adoptions hosts two major fundraisers - a banquet and an auction. Two weeks ago, we had the opportunity to attend the Taste of Compassion auction. Because we'd never been to this auction before, we were unsure of what to expect. We were thankful to have Rita and Gary (Cliff's parents who flew in from Indiana!) and my dad attend with us, as well as some other friends from church. Having friends and family there made a fun night even more enjoyable.

There was a silent auction with lots of items to choose from, including a generous donation from our friends, Kyle and Kathleen, who own The Creative Date. We enjoyed delicious food from Seastar restaurant, Class Act Catering, and Bonsai Sushi as we perused the silent auction items and made our bids. There was also an engaging live auction with a phenomenal auctioneer who made it great fun.

Midway through the live auction, we heard a moving and entertaining testimony from a 17 year old who was adopted as a child. It was a great reminder of why we were all there.

Overall, the event was phenomenal! There was an incredible amount of work that went into pulling off such a complex evening, but it was organized and managed beautifully. And the auction managed to raise over $52,000 - enough money to sponsor six adoptions! That is absolutely amazing!

We continue to pray for Antioch Adoptions, for the staff, and for generous people to donate to this ministry. We invite you to pray and give as you feel called. If you're interested in donating in any way (one time donations or regular giving), go to the Antioch Adoptions website or comment below, and we'll help you get connected!

Goin' Under the Knife

2010-11-10T16:42:00.000-08:00

Believe it or not, I still have all my wisdom teeth. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it), they are all being removed on Thursday morning. I only have a few more days with them. I can't say I'm excited about the surgery, but I am thankful that I have anesthesia and a four day weekend so I won't have to take any time off of work.

If you think of it tomorrow (Thursday), please pray for the surgery that it goes well and without complication. Also, please pray that my sweet husband has the patience to deal with me as I recover. I'm sure I'll be asking for jello, milkshakes, frappuccinos, applesauce, and medicine constantly on Thursday and Friday.

Randomberry Jam

2010-11-09T16:40:00.000-08:00

I came up with my own jam "flavor" last night...Randomberry. (Well at least I'd never heard of it!) Sounds delish, right?

It was born out of a realization that my freezer was full of berries. I had strawberries, blueberries, and a combo bag of frozen marionberries, raspberries, and blackberries from Costco that needed to be finished up! Plus, all of them were taking up precious space in my freezer.

So what's a girl to do?
Toss them all in a pot, add sugar, add some pectin, and can away!

I have to admit, it tastes quite delicious.

It's Been Awhile

2010-10-27T08:38:00.000-07:00

I realized this morning that it's been over a month since we last posted something on our blog. As you can imagine, it's been a busy month. Among other things, toward the beginning of the month, we went to our most recent meeting at Antioch Adoptions to learn about some changes they've made to their adoption process, as well as more about our homestudy.

Since then, we've slowly but surely been answering the seemingly endless pages of questions that our case manager will use for our two in-home interviews. The goal, as I understand it, is for our case manager to get to know us, so that he/she can eventually write our homestudy, which basically indicates that we've been approved for adoption by our agency. A judge will then use that document to ultimately decide whether or not to finalize our adoption once it gets to that point.

In addition to working on our homestudy homework, we've also started gathering pictures to use for our family profile, which is basically an extensive brochure for a birth mom to look through when trying to choose a family to place her child with. Once we're approved for placement, Antioch Adoptions will begin looking for a birth mom and/or child to match us with based on any criteria we've provided or the birth mom has provided. In our case we don't have a preference when it comes to gender or race, but we are hoping and praying for a child who is one or younger (at least, as Mackenzie likes to say, this "round"). We're also open to multiples (twins, triplets) and sibling groups (an infant with an older brother or sister, for example).

In the midst of all of this, we had an amazing experience this past Sunday. After we shared our testimony at the Ballard campus about our struggles with infertility and pursuit of adoption, a young woman came up to us after the service and told us she was a birth mom who had created an adoption plan through Antioch Adoptions a few months earlier. She gave us her contact info and offered to meet with us to share her story and answer any questions we had. We were amazed at her willingness to support us during such a difficult time in her own life.

So we followed up with her and arranged to have lunch this past Sunday. As can be expected, it was a little awkward at first as none of us knew exactly where to start. But once she backed up a bit and started telling us how she got pregnant and why she decided to create an adoption plan for her child, the questions and conversation flowed naturally. She told us about the birth father's reaction to her decision, as well as reactions from her family members--all of which left her feeling alone and isolated.

But she was thankful for the relationship she had with the adoptive family, which began while she was still pregnant and has continued after her child was born. She has felt loved and welcomed into their family and continues to be a part of her child's life. In many ways Mackenzie and I felt like her situation represented a best-case scenario, even though there were still ongoing struggles and difficulties. It was amazing to see God's grace at work in her life and her child's life and to see God fulfill his promise in Romans 8:28 that he will use any situation or circumstance for good.

We were also excited to learn earlier this week that my parents are flying out in just over a week for the Antioch Adoptions Auction. I think it'll be a great opportunity for them to see first-hand why we're so thankful for Antioch Adoptions' ministry and the people who are so passionate about caring for orphans, supporting birth parents, and helping adoptive families. (If anyone else is interested in joining us on Saturday, November 6th at 6pm at Overlake Christian Church in Redmond, let us know.)

We'll be sure to post pictures from this event and keep you all posted on our progress through the homestudy process. Thank you all for your love, support, and prayers.

Modern Day MacGyver

2010-09-22T06:00:00.000-07:00

We've really enjoyed watching TV shows on DVD and particularly through our Netflix account. We just started watching 24 because we'd heard it was good and were curious about what the hype was all about.

Turns out, we are loving it too! The format of 24 episodes, each covering one hour, so that the whole season spans one day is intriguing and quite brilliant. We're not sure we'll watch all eight seasons, but we're certainly enjoying this first season.

After watching the first few episodes, I equated Jack Bauer (the main character) as the MacGyver of the current generation. Loved that MacGyver could save the world with a roll of duct tape and a chocolate bar, and I love that Jack Bauer can defy every policy, protocol, and federal guideline in the name of justice.

Contentment

2010-09-18T20:17:00.000-07:00

This month, our church is doing a series of blog posts about Biblical Womanhood. Over the course of this month, many women from different stages of life are sharing what God is teaching them. I have been incredibly encouraged and humbled by the wisdom and grace of the women reflecting on their walks with Jesus.

Tonight as I sat down to catch up on my forever growing Google Reader, a post by Deacon Amy Lockman about Stewarding Singleness really spoke to my heart. You may be wondering how and why a blog about singleness would convict me. While Amy used illustrations related to singleness, her reflections were really about contentment. The questions she asked apply to anyone, any struggle, in any stage of life. The following section of her blog post was particularly poignant for me and will be part of my prayer time and reflections this week. Amy shared:

"Each time I start to struggle through my singleness, I have to ask myself the following questions:

Do I trust that he has ordained my days? (Psalm 139: 5, 6, 16)
Do I trust that he supplies all I need? (Matthew 6:32)
Do I trust that never will he leave me or forsake me? (Joshua 1:5)
Do I trust that who I am in Christ defines me? (Colossians 2:10)

If I am trying to just hang on until I get married and don’t accept my singleness in this season, then I am saying that these days that God has ordained are not enough, that he made a mistake and is a liar."

For me, it isn't about singleness, but infertility.

Do I trust that God has ordained my days and the days of our children?
Do I believe that God knows the exact moment we will have children and how they will come into our family?
Do I define myself as a daughter of Christ or as a woman struggling with infertility?
Am I content in where God has me right now or am I just hanging on until we adopt a child?
Is God still good even if we never get pregnant?
Is God still good even if we don't become parents?

I want to say I always answer a resounding yes to all those questions, but honestly apart from Jesus, I don't. I pray for strength daily, that by God's grace he would help me to be content in this struggle we're facing and continue to teach me in his ways.

Antioch Adoptions Auction

2010-09-15T17:25:00.000-07:00

The Antioch Adoptions Benefit Auction for Orphans is coming up on November 6! Cliff and I are excited to attend this event and support this amazing ministry. What makes Antioch Adoptions so amazing is that they place orphans into Christian families without charging any fees to the adoptive family! Of course because Antioch Adoptions is an adoption agency like any other, they still have real costs even though they don't charge the family for the adoption. We feel so blessed to be working with them!

The annual auction is important because Antioch Adoptions relies on donors to provide the financial resources to place orphans into families. Can you help?

Do you have something you could donate for the auction?
Click HERE to access the procurement form.

Would you like to attend this event with us?
We'd love that! Comment and let us know or send us an email. Tickets go on sale soon.

Also, please continue to pray for the amazing staff members at Antioch Adoptions, that many adoptions would be finalized in the coming weeks and months, and for the success of this event!

Sharing Our Story

2010-09-07T19:05:00.000-07:00

A few Sundays ago at each of the services at the Mars Hill Ballard Campus, Mackenzie and I had the honor of sharing about our struggles with infertility and the call God has put on our lives to adopt. It was a very full and emotional day, but we were very thankful to have good friends come to support us throughout the day, which meant so much.

Throughout the day we had several opportunities to talk with couples also struggling with infertility, people who had friends and family members who had adopted or had been adopted, and even a birth mom who had created an adoption plan for her child through Antioch Adoptions.

We’re thankful for the work God is doing in our lives, the ways in which he's comforted us through various people we've met, and the opportunities he’s given us to comfort other people facing similar struggles and decisions.

Camping Trip

2010-08-31T09:09:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, Mackenzie and I filled our Honda Civic with camping gear and supplies and went on a three-day adventure along the Washington Coast and around the Olympic National Park. We've been to the Washington Coast before, but never to the Olympic peninsula.

And believe it or not, this is only the second time we've been camping since we've lived in Washington. The first was for our second anniversary. It wasn't exactly a disaster, but we did get rained on quite a bit, and in hindsight it didn't seem like we packed all the supplies we should have. That wasn't entirely the reason we hadn't been camping again, but I think it kept Mackenzie from wanting to do so anytime soon.

But we wanted to take a short trip this summer and knew we needed to do so with a small budget, so we decided to give camping another go. I'm happy to say our second experience was far better than our first.

We stayed at Kalaloch Campground, literally one block from the beach. Even in August it was cloudy and cool, but we kept a warm fire going at all times while at our site. We even did most of our cooking over the fire, which I think was one of Mackenzie's favorite things. We went with a few of the tried-and-true camping favorites (hobo stew, franks and beans, smores, etc.) and even tried making bacon and coffee over the fire.

While we were there, we took a few hikes along the beach, as well as a few day trips to the Hoh Rain Forest, La Push, and Ruby Beach. Driving just a few miles from the coast, the sun would start to peak out and the temperature would increase by at least ten degrees--weird Washington weather.

My favorite part was lunch along the Hoh River. We found a spot just off the beaten path, stuck our feet in the freezing cold water, and enjoyed the view.

On our way home we took the northern route and stopped along the way to explore Port Angeles, Hurricane Ridge, and Port Townsend. We're already making plans to go back.

Trip to Friday Harbor

2010-08-27T16:08:00.000-07:00

As I started to write a post about our trip to the Washington Coast a few weeks ago (coming soon), I realized I hadn't written anything about our trip to Friday Harbor in July with my parents. This summer has just flown by (due partly to the fact that warm, sunny days have been few and far between, which unfortunately, was the case on our trip). But we didn't let that stop us; we never do.

We had a great time exploring San Juan Island: watching for whales along Lime Kiln Point, having breakfast and dinner at Roche Harbor, visiting Mona the camel at the San Juan Vineyard, and hiking through the English Camp and American Camp. Check out some pictures from our trip below.

Garden Update: Veggies are Thriving

2010-08-16T08:06:00.000-07:00

In lieu of writing about how our garden is growing, I thought pictures would tell you more!

No, I'm not Laura Ingalls...

2010-08-12T15:33:00.000-07:00

but I am enjoying my new adventures in canning!

For my birthday last year, my parents gave me a cooking class. I chose from a number of them and selected a class on canning. I loved the class, typically enjoy cooking, and was excited to apply my new learning.

In January I made citrus marmalade and enjoyed the process, eating my creation, and sharing it with friends. Now that we're gardening and bringing in quite a bit of produce, I'd like to take a more serious approach.

My goal this summer is to can most of our tomatoes (we don't really eat them fresh), make blueberry jam with all the blueberries from our bushes, make applesauce from our apple tree, blackberry jam from our blackberry vine (if it produces enough), and pickled jalapenos. Many of our other veggies we look forward to freezing to use throughout the year. I'm also in the process of learning how to dry and store our herbs.

So far this year I've made and "put up" three pints of preserved lemons, four pints of lemon marmalade, two pints of pickled carrots, quite a bit of strawberry jam, five pints of sliced peaches, and I think next on my list will be blackberry jam once our blackberries ripen!

Check out a few of my products...

preserved lemons

lemon marmalade

FAQs

2010-08-08T11:29:00.000-07:00

Here are some of the most frequently asked questions as we pursue adoption, so I'll do my best to answer them!

How long do you think the process will take?
We don't know! That is the challenge and excitement of adoption. It could be a year, it could be many years. What we do know though is that it will all happen according to God's perfect timing. That is to say, we certainly have days where we're discouraged or anxious for the arrival of our children, but ultimately we find peace in placing our trust and hope in Jesus and not in the day our kids are welcomed into our home. (That will be an exciting day though!)

Why are you guys pursuing adoption?
We are pursuing adoption, because we feel called to do so. While we struggled to get pregnant and later learned that medically speaking our chances of getting pregnant without medical intervention are very slim, we feel called to pursue adoption. That is to say, if we do become pregnant, we would still pursue adoption of other children into our family.

What age of a child are you interested in adopting?
At this point, we are planning to adopt an infant or a very young child or sibling group. We are open to God changing our hearts about this, but for now, we're looking to grow as parents with a very little person.

Do you have any specifics that you told your agency - race? gender?
We are open and excited to welcome a child of any race or gender into our home and family.

Are you adopting domestically or internationally?
Antioch Adoptions, our fabulous adoption agency, serves families in western Washington and most of the children they place are from within our state. While in certain instances, children have been placed by Antioch from other states across the country, all the children are from the United States.

We may eventually adopt internationally, but for "Round One," as we like to call it, we'll be adopting domestically.

Where are you in the adoption process?
We recently finished our PRIDE classes, which are classes for people interested in becoming foster homes or adoptive homes. This is a requirement of both the state and our agency before we can move forward in the process. In October and January, we'll be taking two classes through our adoption agency. After that we'll complete a home study, where a social worker will evaluate our home to determine whether placement of a child would be appropriate. From there, we'll be waiting on placement.

Other questions? Ask away!

Cliff the Builder

2010-08-03T07:07:00.000-07:00

My husband is wonderful for a number of reasons, but I love that when he gets an idea in his head, he works tirelessly until it is completed! That was the case most recently with the four additional raised veggie beds he built a few weekends ago.

The catalyst for these beds came when we planted sugar snap peas again this year and they took over our veggie beds! So we decided that having a bed for our tall crops (beans, peas, cucumbers, etc.) separate from others would help all of them receive enough sun for them to thrive. We went ahead and built the new beds this summer so we could begin our winter crops in them now and then have our tall crops in them next year.

Check out Cliff's handiwork...

"The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee"

2010-07-30T06:17:00.000-07:00

Photo courtesy Matthew R. Throssell

For one of my favorite date nights on record, Cliff bought tickets for us to go and see "The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee." I'd never really heard of this show and certainly didn't know what it was about, but it had come recommended from Cliff's parents.

Cliff surprised me with tickets and we attended the show two weeks ago. It was awesomely hilarious! The show was witty, the music was creative, and the venue for this show was small and you really felt part of the spelling bee. They even had audience members participate. Couldn't have been better!

Haven't seen it? You must go.

For our Seattle friends, you can buy tickets for $20 by clicking HERE. The show runs through August 14th.

Adoption Update: PRIDE Training

2010-07-26T06:07:00.000-07:00

We began our PRIDE training on Monday, July 19. PRIDE is a Foster Parent and Adoptive Parent Preparation Course offered by Washington state. Completion of this class is the next step in our adoption journey. Essentially, this class fulfills a requirement of the state and our adoption agency, Antioch Adoptions.

To be honest, we weren't exactly sure what this class would cover. I thought it would mostly involve information about adoption and foster care law, whereas Cliff aniticipated it would be more about how to care for and meet the unique needs of children in the foster care system. After the first night of our class, we realized we were both right.

The class we are attending is taught by a social worker who works for Washington State's Department of Social and Health Services, Children's Administration (DSHS/CA). Over the course of the five nights, we will learn about the foster care system's organizational structure, foster care and adoption law, attachment, discipline, connections to birth parents, etc.

We're excited to learn about how adoption works in our state, learn about the unique challenges that some children in the foster care system may have, and connect with other people who are interested in adoption or foster care. We also will have opportunities to hear from children who were part of the foster care system, foster parents, and adoptive parents.

As always, we would love for you to ask us any questions you have and pray for us as we continue on this path. We pray for God's grace that we could be patient as we submit to his perfect timing.

Treasured Memories

2010-07-23T16:15:00.000-07:00

Growing up, we moved a lot. Often when I talk with people about where I grew up and my transient childhood, they instantly guess I was a "military brat"; however, that is not the case. My dad was a college basketball coach.

The number of times my family moved proved difficult at times, but certainly had its benefits: I feel pretty comfortable in new situations, enjoy meeting new people, and have traveled much of this country. Occasionally, I think back to making the move from Alabama to the suburbs of Chicago just before starting high school and am amazed that I made it those first few weeks with my southern drawl, but I did. I actually met my wonderful husband there and am continually amazed at God's plan and provision for our lives.

One of the places growing up that continually felt like home was my Nannie and Pop-Pop's house in Cape Cod, Massachusetts. Because my mom was a teacher and my dad often had more time off in the summer, we would head up to the Cape after school was out and spend many weeks enjoying the beaches, lakes, and time with family.

While my Nannie and Pop-Pop are no longer living and I haven't been back to the Cape in years, I have so many memories of that special place - the penny candy store; riding bikes around the many cul de sacs until dark and my parents forced us to come home; the "treasure hunting" we would do in my Nannie's basement; taking donuts to the beach in the morning; the crazy picture in my Nannie's house of the sea captain whose eyes always followed us; walking out on the rock jetties; and many more. It is such a treasured place in my memory that Cliff actually proposed there, knowing how important it was to me.

Now that I'm an adult, one of the things that takes me back instantly to the memories of the Cape are hydrangea bushes. There were hundreds of them all throughout my Nannie's neighborhood. I always loved the flowers - particularly, their amazing and different colors. The blue ones were my favorite and still are.

When we moved into our home four years ago, we planted two hydrangea bushes. I was desperately hoping that they'd bloom and do well here, and thankfully they have. This is the first year they're large and maturing with numerous blooms. As I walk past the hydrangea bushes each day, I enjoy memories of my Nannie and Pop-Pop, remember the time we spent on the Cape, and look forward to making sweet memories with our kids one day.

And the winner is...

2010-07-07T19:51:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, Mackenzie and I decided to offer a chance to win a free copy of Russell Moore’s book, Adopted For Life, which has had an amazing impact on us. (By the way, the audio version of this book is now available from Christian Audio. And there's even a Kindle edition, too, if you've converted to e-books like my dad.)

Well, today’s the day we get to announce the winner. Congratulations to Karene Hill, a member at the Mars Hill Ballard campus. And thanks to all who participated in this giveaway.

If you come across any other resources you think would be helpful, please send them our way.

Ten Things I Like About Costco...

2010-07-07T13:57:00.000-07:00

COMBO PIZZA - If I ever come home from Costco without their version of a supreme pizza, Cliff will disown me. :) It is huge, $10, has lots of delicious veggies, and warms up beautifully for lunches and leftovers. Hard to beat.
MEAT - Their chicken breasts, flank steak, organic ground beef, and rotisserie chickens are all so delicious. I also appreciate that they're prepackaged in meal size portions, so I don't have to come home from the store and separate it into one pound packages. Love that!
BEDDING - We bought our favorite sheets ever at Costco. They are flannel and so deliciously soft that we use them even in the summer! Recently we bought a new mattress from Costco and we couldn't be happier.
BAKERY - The croissants, apple turnovers, and ciabatta bread are the best around.
PRODUCE - I appreciate the huge variety of produce Costco offers, but the prices are what really catch my eye.
CAR WASH - I've never been much for paying to have my car washed, but after running one of our cars through the $8 wash, I'm sold. It did an awesome job and was very quick!
TERIYAKI SAUCE - The Soy Vey teriyaki sauce is incredible. It will transform any piece of meat into something truly amazing.
MOCHA FREEZE - Love, love, love it! Worth every penny of the $1.59. Such a nice pick me up on a warm afternoon...like today!
BOXES - I like that they pack my items into boxes and not into bags, which makes loading and unloading the car much quicker. Unique too - maybe that's why I like it.
VARIETY - Anywhere I can buy dog food, my mattress, flank steak, rugs, books, organic quinoa, and hopefully one day diapers is my kind of place!

I have to admit, it seems a bit odd that a two person household would have a Costco membership since they sell things in such bulk, but we love it!

What are your favorite Costco finds?

Happy Father's Day!

2010-06-20T09:29:00.001-07:00

We are blessed to have dads who love and encourage us and have done that our entire lives. They are both men who we respect, enjoy spending time with, and are excited to see as grandfathers. We know they will love our children deeply, because they have taken such good care of us.

We thank God that He blessed us with these men as our dads. Happy Father's Day! We love you both so very much.

Book Giveaway: "Adopted For Life"

2010-06-16T13:17:00.000-07:00

As Mackenzie and I shared, Russell Moore's book, Adopted For Life has been a tremendous resource for us as we've started pursuing adoption. So much so that we wanted to give you all an opportunity to win a free copy.

To enter to win:

Visit the Antioch Adoptions website.
Find the Scripture reference on their homepage. (While you're there, you can also check out some of the amazing stories from this ministry and learn how you can help support them.)
Email that Scripture reference to me at cliffe@marshillchurch.org and include "Book Giveaway" in the subject. One entry per person.

I'll announce the winner on Wednesday, July 7th.

Time Flies

2010-06-12T07:40:00.001-07:00

Six years ago today, all the preparations came to an end and Cliff and I were married in Naperville, Illinois, with treasured family and friends in attendance. It was a wonderful day, a point of great celebration in our lives.

These six years that have followed have been full of many highlights, as well as difficult moments that God used and continues to use to teach us to rely on Him. I am so thankful that God brought us together years ago and my prayer is that we can enjoy many decades of marriage to come.

Last night we had the opportunity to celebrate together. Cliff planned a wonderful evening. We started by heading to dinner at Spring Hill in West Seattle. The restaurant opened a few years years ago to great acclaim, has been noted in many national culinary magazines, and has been on my list to try for awhile. It certainly lived up to its reputation.

As we looked over the menus, our server brought us complimentary glasses of sparkling wine to help us celebrate. Before our entrees arrived, we enjoyed homemade bread and a crab cake that melted in our mouths. For dinner, Cliff ordered the halibut which he described as the best piece of fish he's eaten-not even a hint of "fishiness". I had a hangar steak smothered in caramelized onions and served with homemade french fries. Delicious and particularly enjoyable as all of the food is homemade and/or local.

We absolutely loved the delicious food, but the unassuming and unpretentious atmosphere really made us feel at home. We could not have enjoyed our dinner more.

We then headed out to the Washington Dance Club for a Tango lesson. We arrived to a somewhat empty ballroom, where we signed in and got ready for our lesson. There were about ten other people there for the hour long class. The instructor did a good job of walking us through each step, but doing so with patience and a sense of humor. Even though I have dance experience, I don't know a thing about ballroom dancing and was certainly out of my element. We did our best to keep it lighthearted and had a great time together.

After the lesson, many other people began showing up for the social dance that followed. There were some very skilled and serious dancers that arrived. Cliff and I took one Tango tour of the dance floor and then left the rest of the evening to the professionals. We had a great time laughing and learning together, but that will likely be a once in a lifetime experience for us!

Our evening echoed what the last six years have been like:

full of new experiences
moments of uncertainty and challenge
me learning to look to Cliff as the leader
accidentally stepping on each others' toes, then asking for forgiveness
laughing together

I look forward to many more! Happy 6th Anniversary, Cliff! I love you.

Where are we in the adoption process?

2010-06-06T06:55:00.000-07:00

We get this question a lot. The truth - the very beginning. I guess for me it will always feel like the beginning until that sweet baby is placed in our arms.

A couple of weeks ago, we took an important step in the process having our pre-screening interview at Antioch Adoptions. We met with Michele, the Executive Director, and answered a number of questions ranging from why we wanted to adopt, to our family backgrounds, to our marriage, and certainly much more. We expected to share all of this information, but I appreciated how conversational and practical it was. Michele shared her experiences as an adoptive mom with us and honestly and openly answered our questions. We also met with a pastor at Antioch Bible Church for a pastoral interview to confirm that we are in fact Christians, as that is one of the criteria of them placing a child into our family. We feel very blessed to have such skilled, compassionate, and God-fearing people surrounding us in this process.

Our next steps are to attend a number of trainings, which we hope to do this summer and fall. Specifically:

Equip 101, which is Antioch Adoptions' pre-PRIDE training for families planning to adopt.
PRIDE training through the state.
Equip 201, which is Antioch Adoptions' post-PRIDE training.

I appreciated Michele's honesty in laying out our timeline, which could range from 1-3 years. Certainly according to God's perfect plan, things could go much more quickly, but could also go more slowly. Our prayer is that we wait humbly and patiently for God's timing and not be overcome by our desire to be parents.

We are so excited about how God will use this amazing ministry to impact our family and others. We would ask that you pray with us for the staff of Antioch Adoptions, financial provision for this ministry, and for us as we await the arrival of our children.

"Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!"
Psalm 27:14

Goodreads: Social Media For Readers

2010-06-01T09:06:00.000-07:00

I enjoy Facebook and Twitter as much as the next social media fanatic, but in many ways my favorite social media site is Goodreads. This is a great site for bookworms like myself, who enjoy keeping track of what they read, reading and sharing reviews and ratings, seeing what friends are reading, and discovering new books.

There are many other features that I haven't even explored yet, but one of my favorite organizational options is the customizable bookshelves. The site allows you to create different bookshelves to arrange your books anyway you like. I try to keep mine simple: currently reading, to-read, and read. My "to-read" list is a bit daunting, but it's good to know there's never a shortage of books to read and things to learn--keeps me humble.

Teresa, my best "Goodreads friend" (and a great friend in real life, too), pointed out recently that my "read" list has been heavily weighted with theological books. That's not a bad thing, of course, but she encouraged me to throw in a piece of fiction every now and then, which I definitely plan to do after finishing the Re:Train program next month.

If you haven't already, I'd encourage you to join Goodreads, add your books, and add me as a friend, so I can keep up with what you're reading.

Riding the Re:Train

2010-05-28T09:05:00.000-07:00

Last August, Mars Hill Church, our home church for the past four years and where I've been working for the past two years, started a Masters of Missional Leadership program called Re:Train. The program is designed to provide a seminary experience with a heavy emphasis on practical application. Pastors and professors from all over the country, including Dr. Bruce Ware, Dr. Gregg Allison, and Dr. John Piper have traveled to Seattle for one weekend out of the month to teach what's typically weeks worth of material in two intense days.

I was blessed to be accepted into the program this year as one of the seventy students in the inaugural class. It's been a challenging, but enjoyable experience. Along the way I've had the opportunity to learn from some amazingly wise, Christian men, read many challenging and helpful books, and think through what it looks like to put all of this into practice.

I'm currently working on our final assignment: a thirty-five to fifty page Master's Thesis, which will serve as a synthesis of what I've learned this past year, as well as a vision and plan for my life in ministry this coming year.

Following Mackenzie's example (part 1, part 2), I thought I'd share some of the books that have had the greatest impact on me this past year.

God's Big Picture by Vaughan Roberts
In many ways this is a more accessible version of Graeme Goldsworthy's Gospel and Kingdom. They both explain how the sixty-six books of the Bible fit together to form one, unified story--God's story of creation, the fall, redemption, and consummation.

Respectable Sins: Confronting the Sins We Tolerate by Jerry Bridges
Romans 3:23 says that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," but many Christians act as if their sin isn't grievous to God just because it might not be as "obvious" or damaging to those around them. This book does an excellent job of dispelling that myth and aims at helping people see just how desperately we all need God's grace.

Father, Son, and Holy Spirit: Relationships, Roles, and Relevance by Bruce Ware
The Trinity and Jesus' humanity/divinity are two of the more challenging doctrines of the Christian faith. How can one God exist in three persons? How can Jesus be fully man and fully God? This book is extremely helpful in trying to understand these important truths.

Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ by John Piper
Piper is an amazing writer; his writing is both poetic and easy to understand. This particular book does a great job explaining why Jesus is worthy of our worship.

The Assembly of "The Way" by Gregg Allison
This book hasn't actually been released yet, but we were fortunate to get a sneak preview. I'm sure glad we did. It was an amazingly thorough explanation of all that constitutes a church--doctrine, discipline, government, sacraments, etc.

Leading on Empty by Wayne Cordeiro
I read this around the time that Urban Meyer took a leave of absence from the University of Florida football program because of some health concerns. I kept thinking, "Man, he needs to read this book." And so do all leaders who push themselves beyond their limits without seeking God for renewal and strength.

Preaching the Whole Bible as Christian Scripture by Graeme Goldsworthy
In this book Goldsworthy builds upon his premise from Gospel Kingdom that Scripture is one overarching narrative and explains how this should impact the way a preacher preaches.

Lectures to My Students by Charles Spurgeon
I hadn't read much Spurgeon before this book, and my expectation was that it would be a thick theological read. But I was surprised to find that this book (a collection of lectures) was extremely personal and pastoral in nature.

Brothers, We Are Not Professionals by John Piper
Like Spurgeon's book, this was a helpful and practical look at what it means to be a pastor. Piper covers a variety of topics, including how to prepare a sermon and how to grow and mature as a pastor.

The Trellis and the Vine: The Ministry Mind-Shift that Changes Everything by Colin Marshall and Tony Payne
From what I can tell on the blogosphere, this is going to be an important book for everyone in vocational ministry. The premise is simple, but the application is essential: ministry is about seeing people grow in their relationship with Christ; putting in an inordinate amount of emphasis on systems and programs can detract from this purpose.

The Top Ten Mistakes Leaders Make by Hans Finzel
I think this book is a helpful companion to the above book. Finzel not only explains what these mistakes are (putting paperwork before peoplework, dictatorship in decision making, success without successors, etc.), he also provides practical solutions for correcting these mistakes.

Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die by Chip Heath and Dan Heath
I'm curious to know how many good ideas are out there floating around that never gain any traction, and as the Heath brothers would say, stick. This is another one of those simple, but essential books. It explores how to create and cast vision in a way that causes others to jump (and stay) on board.

In My Google Reader...

2010-05-27T06:41:00.000-07:00

A few years ago, I enjoyed clicking through my favorite blogs every couple of days and enjoying the wit of a particular writer. That was until Cliff observed me doing this daily clicking and immediately set me up with a Google Reader account. I love how efficient my husband is!

Since the beginning of my Google Reader, I now have many more blogs that I keep up with and learn from. I always love finding a new recipe, discovering a new way of looking at life, or laughing at a picture posted.

These are some of my favorites:

The Pioneer Woman - Ree Drummond is hilarious! If you've never read about the life and hysterics of The Pioneer Woman, you must. From cooking to homeschooling to decorating to photography, she makes me smile.

Passionate Homemaking - I always appreciate Lindsay's ideas about how to better care for my home and family.

Practical Theology for Women - This blog is excellent! Wendy applies the Truths of Scripture to every day life.

Molly Piper - This blog is written by the daughter-in-law of Dr. John Piper. She writes candidly about her life as a wife and mother and the challenges that she has faced in losing a child. Her faith, strength, and humor are very encouraging to me.

I also read many blogs that my friends write, which I enjoy immensely. As I read them, I am always thankful that I get to benefit from their wisdom, humor, and experience in real life and not only in cyberspace!

What blogs do you enjoy?

Mackenzie's Book List...Update: Part 2

2010-05-25T06:39:00.000-07:00

When choosing books to read this year, I did so before we learned of our infertility and before we felt compelled and called to adopt. Since that moment, there have been a number of resources that we've accessed to learn about adoption, understanding our call as Christians to care for orphans, and what that means for our family.

Books I've read that weren't on my initial 2010 reading list:

Adopted for Life by Russell Moore
This book was instrumental in shaping our understanding of how adoption is a joy and brought us to a crucial understanding of how we were adopted as sons and daughters into the family of God when we put our faith in Jesus Christ. Absolutely phenomenal book. Read Cliff's thoughts here.

Fields of the Fatherless by Tom Davis
This book was not as moving as others I've read, but it did provide some helpful perspective on the role that others can play in supporting an adoptive family. To care for orphans doesn't necessarily mean adopting one; there are many other ways to love and care for the fatherless.

Hannah's Hope by Jennifer Saake
As I mentioned in my review, apart from Scripture, this book has been the most helpful to me in processing our infertility.

Why Was I Adopted? by Carole Livingston
This book was recommended to me by a friend of a friend who was adopted as an infant. She remembers reading this book frequently with her sister and she shared how helpful it was in helping her understand adoption. I came home after that coffee date and looked on Amazon to find the book was out of print...one new copy for over $1000 and a couple of used copies for less than $3. I'm sure you can guess which one I purchased! It arrived yesterday and this book is truly a treasure...we're sure our kids will love it!

Mackenzie's Book List...Update: Part 1

2010-05-23T06:09:00.000-07:00

Early this year, I posted about the books I planned to read in 2010, which I'd never done before. I created the list initially because I'm finding more and more that if I'm not intentional, things just won't happen. So far, I'm glad I've made the list. I've certainly added to it and read books beyond this list related to what God is teaching me at this moment, but here are my "quick takes" on the books I've read so far and what is still on my list...

Books I've read so far this year:
Death by Love: Letters from the Cross (Re:Lit) by Mark Driscoll & Gerry Breshears
Great book! I'm thankful that I get to hear from Pastor Mark each Sunday. I included more details in the review I wrote a few months ago.

Womanly Dominion: More Than A Gentle and Quiet Spirit by Mark Chanski
This book was a great reminder of the role God has called me to as a woman and as a wife and the priorities which He's outlined for me in His Word.

The Majesty of the Law by Sandra Day O'Connor
To be honest, I had a hard time with this book. I just couldn't get in to it. I am fascinated by politics, law, and government, but for some reason had a hard time with this one. Maybe it just wasn't the right time to read it...I think I'll give it another try.

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life (P.S.) by Barbara Kingsolver
This is one of my new favorites! I did not want it to end. I adored her entire chapter on squash! Read more of my thoughts here.

Real Food: What to Eat and Why by Nina Planck
Excellent book that opened my eyes to the importance of eating food that is "real"...food our grandparents or great-grandparents would have eaten. (No more margarine for our family!)

From Clutter to Clarity: Simplifying Life from the Inside Out by Nancy Twigg
This book was a helpful reminder, but nothing too surprising. I appreciated Ms. Twigg's emphasis on starting with prayer and submission to God in all things and not simply on the behavior modification of organizing my home. Read my previous post on this book here.

Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands by Paul David Tripp
I'm reading this book now and am learning so much about how to care for, talk with, and love other people in the midst of struggles. Excited to keep reading...

Books that I haven't read yet, but will soon:
Humility: True Greatness by C. J. Mahaney & Joshua Harris
The Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis
The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name by Sally Lloyd-Jones
Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist by John Piper
In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto by Michael Pollan

Antioch Adoptions Banquet

2010-05-21T08:05:00.000-07:00

On May 8th, Cliff and I had the opportunity to attend the annual Antioch Adoptions Banquet. This year was the celebration of their 10th anniversary and the fact that they've placed over 300 children into forever homes--AMAZING! It was a very special evening and we were very thankful our friends Samson and Liz joined us. Their company definitely made it even more fun!

The evening included stories of families who adopted children through Antioch Adoptions, celebrations of the blessings of adoption, many encouraging speakers, and a delicious meal. (We had a few empty seats at our table, so Samson and Cliff did a nice job of making sure none of the food went to waste.) They had also put together two slide shows, Orphan Montage and What is Adopted?, which were both informative and touching.

One of the highlights of the evening for me was seeing the adoptive families together. Not only had many of the children in attendance been placed into their families by Antioch Adoptions, but they also had a special job--they were the ushers who showed us to our table. It excited me to think that one day our children may attend and seat guests at upcoming banquets. What a joy that would be!

It was a very special evening and we were excited to support the amazing work God is doing through Antioch Adoptions.

Rejoice With Those Who Rejoice

2010-05-19T09:25:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, as I was driving to work on the West Seattle Bridge, I had a crystal clear vision of Mackenzie and me standing on the stage at the Ballard campus dedicating our adopted child. What's strange is that I hadn't been thinking about adoption at all. I was just driving to work, listening to the radio, and thinking through my coming day. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, this picture popped into my mind.

Well, the floodgates immediately opened and I started bawling uncontrollably to the point that I almost had to pull over, which if you've been on the West Seattle Bridge, you know is nearly an impossible feat.

I'd never experienced anything like this before. Where had this come from and why had it come now? To be sure, adoption had been and continues to be a prominent topic of conversation for Mackenzie and me, so it was definitely on my mind. But until that point, our conversations had centered around the immediate next steps--not the hoped for eventual outcome and what that would entail.

It was clear that God was giving me a glimpse of what he had in store for us. He was showing me that being parents means more than just passing on our DNA; it means raising our children to know, honor, obey, and love Jesus. That's why we dedicate babies--not to secure their salvation (only Jesus can do that), but to promise to love and lead them in a way that points them to Jesus. In turn, our church family promises to support, encourage, and help us as we raise our children.

Mars Hill typically does baby dedications on Mother's Day and Father's Day, so two weeks ago, we watched twenty families at the Ballard campus stand before the congregation, introduce their child, read a few verses they had selected for him/her, and pray that God would help them raise their children in a way that glorifies Jesus.

It's a cute spectacle to say the least. In true Mars Hill fashion, many of the kids are decked out in Chuck Taylor's and spiky hair, but there's a fair share of pink bows and frilly dresses. Most of the kids either squirm, cry, or grab for the mic as their parents try to read their selected verses. Some of the kids even helped lead worship this year.

This year at the end of the service, Pastor Bill Clem, our campus pastor, acknowledged that for couples like us struggling with infertility or those who have experienced miscarriages, Mother's Day and Father's Day can be difficult emotionally. But he encouraged us to "Rejoice with those who rejoice," just as we would "weep with those who weep" (Romans 12:15). And as Mackenzie shared, by God's grace, we were able to do just that. We're thankful for how God has blessed so many families in our church and hopeful for the day we, too, will stand before our church and dedicate our child to the Lord.

Take Time to Smell the...Lilacs?

2010-05-16T07:09:00.000-07:00

As I was out in the yard today, I noticed how many of our plants are blooming and how big everything is getting! I think this year I am most excited by our four year old lilac bushes that are blooming for the first time.

It makes me think about what our yard looked like when we bought our home four years ago--a 7,000 square foot lot with three trees and nothing else. It has been a lot of work and since landscaping can be quite costly, we've been diligent in finding free plants on Craigslist and scrounging from friends and neighbors.

As it all finally starts to come together, I will definitely admit that watching these plants grow from year to year is rewarding. I snapped a few photos of my favorites to share.

Just for Fun...

2010-05-14T06:32:00.000-07:00

A Walk in Our Garden

2010-05-12T20:00:00.000-07:00

potato

radish

spinach

Our garden is doing fairly well at this point. We've planted most of the seeds and many are beginning to sprout and show signs of the bounty yet to come. I was thrilled to harvest one of our radishes on Saturday! It was deliciously peppery and a beautiful, pinkish red. I look forward to having more homegrown veggies on my salads in the coming weeks and months.

How is your garden growing?

Language Land Mines

2010-05-11T08:45:00.000-07:00

I've often felt that political correctness is politeness run amok--especially since politically correct terms seem to change on a daily basis. I don't enjoy the feeling of cautiously tip-toeing through conversations afraid to step on language land mines.

But being a recovering English geek, I am aware of what people say, how they say it, and how both effect the people to whom they're saying it. I want my speech to be edifying, not offensive (Ephesians 4:29).

And I've become even more aware of this as Mackenzie and I have shared our struggles with infertility and our pursuit of adoption. There's an element of vulnerability involved in both cases, and what people say and how they say it can have a significant impact.

With infertility, it's a matter of people wanting to ask questions and offer encouragement, but not really knowing how to do either without prying or somehow offending us. In terms of prying, we generally assure people that we're open to answer any questions and to share as many or as few details as they're comfortable with.

The encouragement piece is a little trickier. In most cases, the people offering encouragement are ones we love and who love us; consequently, they don't like seeing us hurting and want to assure us that everything will work out. This last part is true, but how everything will work out might be different than they or we think. I'm hesitant to share specific examples of the things people have said because I know they meant well, but I do want to reiterate that our hope is in Jesus and what he's done for us on the cross (namely, saving us from our sins and restoring our relationship with God the Father), not our ability to get pregnant.

What Mackenzie and I are currently working through is the language we'll use if/when we adopt. Russell Moore's book, Adopted For Life, (one that we both highly recommend) has been greatly helpful in this. He and his wife adopted two boys from Russia who were born three weeks apart, but not from the same biological parents. Moore explains in chapter two that one of the most common questions people asked him and his wife was "Are they brothers?" And each time someone asked them, he would emphatically reply, "Yes, they are."

Now to be sure, he knew what they meant. He knew it was a well intended question to learn more about the boys and their origins. But more importantly, he knew how essential it was for the boys to know that through adoption, they were in fact brothers--not to mention his sons.

That's one of the most beautiful things about adoption. People with no natural, genetic relationship are transformed into a family. And what's better is that this is a picture of our renewed relationship with God through his Son, Jesus. The Apostle Paul uses the image of adoption to explain the Gospel in several places: Ephesians 1:3-14, Galatians 4:3-7, and Romans 8:12-17.

In another chapter Moore stresses that "adopted" is a past-tense verb, not an adjective. He explains that "the term 'adopted kid' assumes an ongoing difference, something that differentiates him from a 'regular kid.'" But adoption is an act that happened in the past; it doesn't define a child anymore than being born premature makes a child the "premature kid" (to use another one of Moore's examples). Adoption is a part of their story, not their identity.

I don't share all of this with you so you'll watch what you say when you're around us, but to share with you what we've learned these past few months--how infertility and adoption are far different from what we could have ever imagined (and we're just getting started with the latter). Neither fit well into the plan we had for our family. But we've started to realize that this isn't Plan B; this is what God intended for us all along. And throughout this experience, we expect to learn things about him and ourselves that we never would have otherwise.

Happy Mother's Day!

2010-05-09T07:12:00.000-07:00

Cliff and I feel so blessed to have moms who love and encourage us well. Even as adults, we continue to learn from and seek the wisdom of our moms. As I examine my own heart and desire to be a mom, I am overwhelmed by the high call of motherhood and the great energy, sacrifice, prayer, and selflessness required of moms.

I appreciate Mother's Day because it gives me a specific day during the year to thank my mom and mother-in-law for being two women who I deeply love, respect, and admire. I'm also incredibly thankful for my friends who are moms, as they allow me into their lives and the lives of their precious children to learn from them, laugh with them, and pray for them.

Thank you for being such excellent examples to me.

The Difficulty of Mother's Day

2010-05-08T09:23:00.000-07:00

Last year was the first Mother's Day in my life where I had a desire to be a mom, was actively trying to become a mom, yet was not a mom. It was the first Mother's Day where I felt an ache for a child.

This year marks the second such Mother's Day. I still have a deep desire to be a mom, which I know comes from the Lord, but much is different this year.

This year I know that the road to motherhood will look different for me than I once thought.
This year my heart grieves for other women who desire to be mom's, yet aren't.
This year I have a deeper understanding of God's plan for my life and the peace that can be found in trusting that His plan is far greater than my own.
This Mother's Day we feel a profound call to adopt children, and I am thankful for the deep sense of direction that provides.

I have a friend who shared with me early in our struggle with infertility that it is possible to feel two emotions at one time: to rejoice with others, but still feel a longing within yourself. This is where I am this Mother's Day--rejoicing in the gift of motherhood, thankful for my mom and friends who are moms, sad that we are not yet parents, but praying that God would bless us with a child according to His perfect plan.

Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Next Steps in the Adoption Process

2010-05-06T17:25:00.000-07:00

Many of you have asked, "So now what?!?!" in reference to the next steps in our journey toward adoption. To summarize, there are many and they could take a long time.

We submitted our paperwork, and are now waiting for a phone call to set up interviews with Antioch Adoptions. If approved, we would then participate in PRIDE (Parents' Resources for Information Development Education) trainings through the state, complete a home study, and then wait for the child God has planned for our family. The entire process can go quickly (nine months) or can go more slowly (years).

For those of you that know Cliff and me well, the waiting game is not our strength. Nothing about this process is easy, expected, or accommodating to a couple of Type A planners like we are.

We are certainly learning what it looks like to submit to God's timing and not our own and to wait patiently. We would truly appreciate your prayers as we embark upon the very beginning of this huge and complex process.

I Like Control

2010-05-04T16:43:00.000-07:00

This week our car went in for an oil change and came out with hundreds of dollars in additional repairs and a long list of things that needed to be fixed or replaced, including new tires.

Expensive and not on my "to do" list. Stressful for me.

This week our washing machine has been sitting in the middle of our mudroom, because it is not draining properly and there is likely a clog in our main line somewhere. We tried to remedy the problem, but the tools we have are not adequate for the job. We need a plumber.

Out of my control, messy, and distracting. Stressful for me.

This week, I've officially come to terms with the fact that the mattress we purchased on the cheap six years ago is terrible and I believe causing me to have some minor back pain, which I'm sure will only become worse if we don't change the mattress.

Annoying. Stressful for me.

I often think about this fictitious, perfect time when all things are paid off, we have no surprise expenses, nothing ever breaks or becomes ineffective, and on, and on, and on...That just isn't reality in this life. (Thankfully it is in heaven!) The truth is, we live in a fallen, sinful world full of trouble, problems, inconveniences, and turmoil. Our cars, washing machines, mattresses, and our bodies, are failing. It is a good reminder to me that God is in control. He created everything that my eyes can see, my ears can hear, my fingers can touch, and everything beyond that.

A few months ago, during a particularly difficult moment of frustration over things not going my way, Cliff pointed me to Psalm 121. It has been a source of encouragement to me over the last few months, as well as a source of conviction. This text also provided an opportunity to confess that I don't always look to God for my hope or trust that He will keep me.

I pray this Psalm for myself and for you today--that we would be encouraged in the Truth that God keeps us and that ultimately our hope is in Jesus and not in a "perfectly" tidy home, life, job, bank account, etc.

Psalm 121
I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
My help comes from the LORD,
who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD is your keeper;
the LORD is your shade on your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
The LORD will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time forth and forevermore.

Antioch Adoptions Banquet

2010-04-29T17:30:00.000-07:00

We are excited to attend the annual Antioch Adoptions Banquet on Saturday, May 8, to celebrate the amazing work God has done through this agency! This year marks their 10th anniversary; celebrating more than 300 children placed into Christian families without charging families any fees. We are praying this agency is the vehicle by which God brings children into our family.

Would you like to join us in celebrating the amazing work God has done through Antioch Adoptions? Tickets to this celebration are $40 per person and tickets can be purchased by clicking HERE.

The Mission of Antioch Adoptions: To place infants and children regardless of ethnicity, age, or special needs into Christian adoptive homes, and to remove financial, perceptual and practical barriers to adoption.

Suffering Well

2010-04-28T12:51:00.000-07:00

Below is an exert that appeared on the Resurgence blog from Pastor Mark's new book, Doctrine. It explains that we image God (i.e. think, feel, act like him) when we suffer well.

When the clouds of trial, pain, loss, hardship, hurt, and tears roll in, we must never forget that our Lord Jesus Christ imaged God well even when suffering. When Jesus was hurting the most, as he hung on the cross for our sins, he reflected the mercy and justice of God perfectly.

Jesus invites us to not waste the worst moments and seasons of our life but rather consider them treasures to be invested purposefully in glorifying God by imaging the character of Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit. This is Jesus' point when he says, 'If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.'

Thankfully, unlike so many half-true theologies that speak only of the victories of Christian life and how to image God when we are winning, Jesus shows us that if our aim is to image God, then when we win and lose and as we live and die, every moment is a sacred opportunity to be captured for his glory, our joy, and others' good.

From Doctrine, Chapter 4. Image: God Loves (pgs. 141–142).

We Submitted Our Adoption Paperwork!

2010-04-20T14:47:00.001-07:00

It's hard to believe that we attended the Intro to Adoption Class at Antioch Bible Church just six weeks ago. Since then, we've been sorting through all the paperwork and preparing to take the next step in the process: mailing a rather full envelope off to Antioch Adoptions, which Mackenzie did yesterday!

A few weeks ago, we also went to the King County Courthouse to have our finger prints taken as part of our FBI background check. Let me tell you, the courthouse is not a fun place--nothing says "welcome" like metal detectors. (And while Mackenzie was getting her fingerprints taken, I witnessed an intoxicated man yell, "I'm 'bout to sue somebody. I don't need no identification," to the woman behind the counter.)

Moving forward, it takes about a month to process the packet and schedule a pre-screening appointment, which is a 2-3 hour meeting with a pastor from Antioch and a member of the adoption ministry team.

Please pray that God would continue preparing our hearts and our home for the child (or children) he has chosen for us, and help us be patient as we walk through this process.

People God Brings

2010-04-19T11:53:00.000-07:00

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” -2 Corinthians 1:3-4

I’m sure it wouldn’t be a surprise for me to tell you that there have been some pretty low, lows over the last few months, but you might be surprised to know that we’ve also experienced some of the most encouraging moments as well. We have been amazed at the peace we have that comes only from God, but also the people God has brought into our lives.

On Thursday, March 18, Cliff and I had an appointment with a doctor at the University of Washington. After discussing the results from Cliff's most recent round of tests, he gave us a treatment plan, which included putting Cliff on some medication, putting me on some medication, and scheduling follow up appointments with him and with a local fertility clinic. We left assuming that we’d move forward. Why wouldn’t we? We had said we wanted to do some of these treatments, the doctor felt like they could work, they weren’t as expensive as some of the other options, etc.

But frankly, we left feeling overwhelmed and unsure. We prayed and asked others to pray with and for us, that God would make clear to us His plan—seek medical intervention, seek adoption, or do both simultaneously. We decided to take until Monday to fill any prescriptions or move forward with any decisions.

On Saturday morning, we typically get together with our community group from church. On this particular Saturday, a new family walked in the door: mom, dad, and daughter. We welcomed them, learned their names, and were excited they’d joined us. As we began talking, I shared that Cliff and I were facing infertility, were praying about whether to pursue adoption or seek medical intervention, and that we were praying for people to speak into this decision.

At that point, the wife from the new couple, said, “We adopted our daughter three years ago.” She went on to tell us that she previously worked for an adoption agency and has been praying for a couple to walk through adoption with.

God answered our prayers. He didn’t answer our prayer by audibly speaking to me, but He answered it by strategically placing a family in our life to comfort us, provide wisdom, and encourage us through the complex process of adoption.

It is moments like this that remind me that nothing is coincidental...nothing.

I am so thankful that God has a plan—a plan that is far greater than our own.
I am so thankful for new friends (and “old” friends alike).
I am so thankful for people to speak into our life from their own personal experiences.
I am so thankful that God uses the trials of life to bless others.

We feel quite blessed to see God at work in such a powerful way.

Book Recommendation: Hannah's Hope

2010-04-14T06:22:00.000-07:00

In mid-January when we were right at the beginning of learning about the severity of our infertility, I did an online search for resources written by Christian women who had experienced infertility. This book was mentioned on almost every blog, so I went ahead and purchased it. I am very thankful I did.

Hannah's Hope is written by Jennifer Saake, a woman who has experienced ten miscarriages and failed adoptions. She and her husband created a nonprofit organization, Hannah's Prayer Ministries, to help couples struggling with infertility, miscarriage, and adoption loss. She deeply and personally understands these painful struggles.

As you can probably assume from the title, the author frames her book around Hannah from the Bible. Hannah is a woman deeply saddened by her inability to conceive. 1 Samuel 1-2 tells the story of God's work in her life. Ultimately, Hannah does give birth to a son, Samuel, whom she gives over to the Lord. Samuel came into existence according to God's perfect plan for his life as well as for Hannah's.

One thing I really appreciated about this book is that Mrs. Saake emphasized the fact that God does allow some couples struggling with infertility to become pregnant; however, that is not always the way God answers the desire for children. Some couples have the honor of adopting children, and others choose to love the children of friends and family. I appreciated at one point in the book she mentioned that, "God may surprise you by the ways He answers your heart's cry." Even though we may be surprised by His plan, it is ultimately far greater than our own.

In this book, Mrs. Saake addresses the anger, sadness, and hope that sometimes come with struggling to have a child. As she writes, she does so from personal experience, but more notably using biblical truth.

One section of this book that could be very helpful for many people is the section at the end of each chapter entitled "Burden Bearers." This section is written for friends, family, and church leaders who are supporting or counseling people struggling with infertility. Each section offers useful tips about what to say and what might be hurtful, whether intended or not.

I would most definitely consider this book a "must read" for anyone who has a friend or family member dealing with infertility, anyone who has walked the road of infertility, or anyone who counsels people struggling with infertility. While the cover of the book is distinctly feminine, Cliff initially read the book to gain a deeper understanding into what I might be feeling, but found it incredibly helpful for himself.

Apart from Scripture, this book has been the most helpful to me in our struggle with infertility.

Ellis Update: Pursuing Adoption

2010-04-09T15:45:00.000-07:00

For those of you who didn’t know, Cliff and I have been trying to get pregnant for the last year and a half. For the first nine months or so, I wasn’t too concerned that we weren’t achieving a pregnancy and kept telling myself that it would take time. But in August of 2009, after about a year of trying, God used a sermon from Pastor Mark which dealt with infertility, a passage I read in Job 39, and the news from several friends that they were pregnant to help me realize my sin of self-reliance and my true feelings, which I had been blind to: I was sad we weren’t pregnant. That sadness coupled with conversations with Cliff, the urging of good friends, and much prayer prompted me to see my primary care physician for my annual appointment and to discuss our infertility.

That led us to see four different doctors, most of them fertility specialists, and complete a myriad of fertility tests for both Cliff and me before we were told that medically speaking, we have “less than a 2% chance of getting pregnant without medical intervention.” The doctors’ suggested course of treatment, based on Cliff’s abnormal semen analyses and my low progesterone levels was In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). We have decided not to pursue IVF because of the cost and our own comfort level.

One doctor suggested Intra Uterine Insemination (IUI), which is much less expensive than IVF. He put together a plan for us to try, and I was excited about the chance to at least try this procedure. But after prayerfully considering this option, both Cliff and I just have a “gut” feeling that we aren’t to pursue medical intervention for our infertility at this time. We are not opposed to medical intervention—just don’t feel called to pursue it.

On March 8, 2010, amidst many weeks of doctor appointments, we attended an Intro to Adoption class at Antioch Adoptions, which is a ministry of Antioch Bible Church. This amazing ministry offers adoptions at no cost to Christian families living in Western Washington. We learned about this ministry when we attended Antioch Bible Church before becoming members at Mars Hill Church.

God did a work in us at the Intro to Adoption class; we both left feeling very excited by the opportunity to adopt children. Since then, as we’ve prayed for clarity over whether to adopt or pursue medical intervention, God has overwhelmingly pointed us toward adoption and we are thankful for that direction.

Cliff and I have had a difficult few months, but have been amazed at how God has carried us through this. At no other point in my life have I ever felt such a deep connection to Jesus and comfort in my suffering. We have learned a lot, have been humbled by the love and support of friends and family, and are joyful about what God is doing in and through us.

We pray every day for the child or children God will bring into our home, whether through adoption or biologically. Our prayer is that ultimately, our hope is in Jesus, not in our desire for a child through adoption or pregnancy—that we would rely on Him for our comfort and peace.

In the coming weeks and months, we plan to give you periodic updates on where we are in the process and what God is doing in the midst of it. In the meantime, your prayers are greatly appreciated.

Please pray that we would keep our eyes on Jesus and not become entirely focused on our desire for children. Please ask us hard questions. Please know that we want to talk about this openly and honestly and that we’re thankful for friends and family to do that with. Please share with us what you’re struggling with and how we can pray for you.

A verse that has been of great comfort to us in the last few months and is written on our fridge indefinitely is James 1:2-3:

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.”

Tulips!!!

2010-04-08T06:56:00.000-07:00

The beautiful, bold colors of our tulips are beginning to show. I love watching their tiny little heads emerge from the ground and then surprise us with their color. We have a number of varieties, and from year to year I can't ever seem to remember what color they are. My confusion actually makes things quite exciting, because each spring I am surprised when they do finally "pop"!

Favorite Restaurants

2010-04-07T07:50:00.000-07:00

Cliff and I have been doing a weekly date night for at least the last two years, usually on Friday evenings. That typically includes going out to dinner because we both enjoy good food and trying new restaurants. Cliff usually comes up with a creative idea to try a new spot, but much of the time when he asks where I might like to go, I just smile and he knows that I'm dreaming of an old favorite.

These are some of our old favorites:

Buddha Ruksa - The crispy garlic chicken is their speciality and a food I believe I could eat every single day for the rest of my life! I rarely agree to eat Thai food anywhere but Buddha.
Mission - Another West Seattle fave, this chic Mexican restaurant has a charming atmosphere, delicious guacamole, and a mean margarita!
West 5 - Yet another West Seattle gem, who has the best happy hour as far as I'm concerned. Their nachos are amazing and the Mai Thai for $4 is huge, delicious, and comes in a fun glass - what could be better?
Elliot Bay Brewery - Can you say root beer on tap and a Whiskey BBQ burger? I can and do every time we go to Elliot Bay!
King's Hardware - A great burger joint in Ballard where we sometimes go on Sundays. How can you not love a place that has a Peanut Butter Burger? I've tried it - pretty good!

Do you have any favorites? We'd love to give them a try! Well that is if Cliff can get me to go somewhere other than Buddha Ruksa!

Marginless Living

2010-04-06T08:35:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by your long list of "to do's" or stressed looking ahead to the next day, week, or month? I do. Usually because I've chosen to say "yes" more than I've said "no." Recognizing that life is busy, my dilemma becomes how I honor God in each moment of what sometimes feels like chaos.

Earlier this year, I attended a mid-week class at our church taught by Pastor Bill Clem (the Mars Hill Ballard campus pastor) on Spiritual Disciplines. He taught on Worship, Fasting, Sabbath, Solitude, and many other disciplines we as Christians can and should practice; not out of duty to be "good" people, but out of a desire to become more like Jesus and deepen our relationship with Him.

One of the things Pastor Bill shared that really resonated with me was the idea that most of us are living marginless lives. When we read a book, the designer of the text has placed open space around the outside edge of the page and space between paragraphs to help the reader access the text and be able to slow down, jot notes, or take a moment to think. Pastor Bill went on to say that many of us do not have these margins within our own lives - we pack our schedules so tightly that we don't/can't take the time to stop and pray with a friend, call our families, or be available to help those in need. He also noted that this marginless living was not only about our time, but we also do this with our money, so we don't have any "wiggle" room to bless others. That was very convicting for me. In many ways, I am living a marginless life.

So that begs the question...how can those margins become part of my life? How can I align my priorities so I'm not just running from one "to do" to another?

Lately, I've been praying that God would open my heart and build in me an understanding 0f the important versus the urgent and the necessary versus the unnecessary.

I am thankful that this week is my spring break; that I have some time to hit the "reset" button and focus on what is really important. In that, my desire is to have God-honoring priorities: time with God, time with Cliff, working in our home, and time with friends and family. I am praying that God would continue to teach me what it means to live a life with margins and how to honor Him with my priorities.

"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." -Matthew 6:33

Happy Birthday, Gunner!

2010-04-05T06:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Gunner turned 2! It doesn't seem that long ago that this wild one joined our little family. He has brought much joy, heartache, and laughter to our home.

While I am embarrassed to say, I've actually thrown a dog birthday party (for Tucker a few years ago), Gunner's birthday coincided with Easter, so he got a sleepy day at home with Tucker. I guess that is appropriate for a yellow lab's birthday. He certainly doesn't know the difference!

Nonetheless, he is a special part of our family and we are thankful for his sweet life.

Happy Easter!

2010-04-04T17:13:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter! What a glorious day it is to celebrate that our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is alive - raised from the dead!

"For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:21

If you haven't been able to get to church or would like to visit our church online, all the services today are being streamed live. The last one is at 7:15pm (PDT). Awesome music, a great message from Pastor Mark, and baptisms - lots of them! 222 people were baptized as of 11:30am today! CHECK IT OUT!

Christ is Risen. Christ is Risen, indeed!

Colorful Eggs

2010-04-03T19:57:00.000-07:00

Tonight we spontaneously had our friends Brian, Teresa, and their darling one-year old son, Sam, over for dinner. We had a great night watching the basketball games, playing peek-a-boo with Sam, reading his favorite books, and we also decided to dye some eggs.

As a kid, I don't remember this really being a family tradition, but last year and this year, I've participated in this spring time ritual and loved it! This year Teresa shared some egg dyeing tips: use brown eggs as they produce richer colors and put the egg into a wire whisk so they get evenly coated and your fingers don't turn colors. Both ideas made the whole process much easier and our results more beautiful.

Brian and Cliff watched the basketball games, Sam wandered from room to room (after dyeing one egg), and Teresa and I had a wonderful time together. Check our our handiwork below...

Droid Does

2010-03-26T19:32:00.001-07:00

Well, after careful consideration, we decided to go with the Droid. In fact, I'm blogging with it now using the BlogAway app (so I'll keep this brief--my thumbs can only do so much).

More to come on the apps we're using and fun we're having.

iPhone vs. Droid

2010-03-15T09:33:00.000-07:00

On March 20th, we're eligible to renew our two-year contract with Verizon. On the whole we've been pleased with the service from Verizon, but AT&T's exclusive rights to the iPhone makes switching carriers a tempting decision.

I've somehow managed to survive without a smartphone up to this point in my life (and yes, I know that I could go on surviving without one), but I've witnessed countless moments where having one would have come in handy. So whether we stay with Verizon or switch to AT&T, chances are pretty good that I'll be getting a smartphone. (Mackenzie is much less interested in one, but she might consider getting one, too.)

Verizon is doing what it can to compete with AT&T and the iPhone, including launching the "there's a map for that" ad campaign (to which AT&T responded with a celebrity spokesman, Luke Wilson--not sure why he was their choice). But most importantly, they've been introducing their own line of smartphones--particularly, the Droid (and there are rumors that they might be adding the Google Nexus One).

Based on this comparison chart, in some ways the Droid is actually a better phone, but Apple just has a knack for design and functionality. One hangup in particular is the Android Market, which is a much clunkier counterpart to the iTunes store. It's not just the amount of available apps, but the way in which you can find, preview, and download them.

Verizon currently has a "buy one smartphone, get the second one free" offer going on until the end of March, so between March 20th and March 31st, we need to make our decision.

Anyone out there have any thoughts one way or another?

What Can You Do with the Gospel?

2010-03-10T10:05:00.000-08:00

Justin Taylor, who currently works at Crossway, a Christian publishing company responsible for the English Standard Version of the Bible, and who used to work at Desiring God, which offers resources from John Piper's ministry, has a blog with the Gospel Coalition called "Between Two Worlds."

In a recent post, he used 1 Corinthians 15:1-2 to create a list of things "you can (and should) do with the Gospel":

preach it
hear it preached
deliver it
receive it
believe it
be saved by it
remember it
remind others of it
stand in it
hold fast to it