It's Been Awhile

I realized this morning that it's been over a month since we last posted something on our blog. As you can imagine, it's been a busy month. Among other things, toward the beginning of the month, we went to our most recent meeting at Antioch Adoptions to learn about some changes they've made to their adoption process, as well as more about our homestudy.

Since then, we've slowly but surely been answering the seemingly endless pages of questions that our case manager will use for our two in-home interviews. The goal, as I understand it, is for our case manager to get to know us, so that he/she can eventually write our homestudy, which basically indicates that we've been approved for adoption by our agency. A judge will then use that document to ultimately decide whether or not to finalize our adoption once it gets to that point.

In addition to working on our homestudy homework, we've also started gathering pictures to use for our family profile, which is basically an extensive brochure for a birth mom to look through when trying to choose a family to place her child with. Once we're approved for placement, Antioch Adoptions will begin looking for a birth mom and/or child to match us with based on any criteria we've provided or the birth mom has provided. In our case we don't have a preference when it comes to gender or race, but we are hoping and praying for a child who is one or younger (at least, as Mackenzie likes to say, this "round"). We're also open to multiples (twins, triplets) and sibling groups (an infant with an older brother or sister, for example).

In the midst of all of this, we had an amazing experience this past Sunday. After we shared our testimony at the Ballard campus about our struggles with infertility and pursuit of adoption, a young woman came up to us after the service and told us she was a birth mom who had created an adoption plan through Antioch Adoptions a few months earlier. She gave us her contact info and offered to meet with us to share her story and answer any questions we had. We were amazed at her willingness to support us during such a difficult time in her own life.

So we followed up with her and arranged to have lunch this past Sunday. As can be expected, it was a little awkward at first as none of us knew exactly where to start. But once she backed up a bit and started telling us how she got pregnant and why she decided to create an adoption plan for her child, the questions and conversation flowed naturally. She told us about the birth father's reaction to her decision, as well as reactions from her family members--all of which left her feeling alone and isolated.

But she was thankful for the relationship she had with the adoptive family, which began while she was still pregnant and has continued after her child was born. She has felt loved and welcomed into their family and continues to be a part of her child's life. In many ways Mackenzie and I felt like her situation represented a best-case scenario, even though there were still ongoing struggles and difficulties. It was amazing to see God's grace at work in her life and her child's life and to see God fulfill his promise in Romans 8:28 that he will use any situation or circumstance for good.

We were also excited to learn earlier this week that my parents are flying out in just over a week for the Antioch Adoptions Auction. I think it'll be a great opportunity for them to see first-hand why we're so thankful for Antioch Adoptions' ministry and the people who are so passionate about caring for orphans, supporting birth parents, and helping adoptive families. (If anyone else is interested in joining us on Saturday, November 6th at 6pm at Overlake Christian Church in Redmond, let us know.)

We'll be sure to post pictures from this event and keep you all posted on our progress through the homestudy process. Thank you all for your love, support, and prayers.

Modern Day MacGyver

We've really enjoyed watching TV shows on DVD and particularly through our Netflix account. We just started watching 24 because we'd heard it was good and were curious about what the hype was all about.

Turns out, we are loving it too! The format of 24 episodes, each covering one hour, so that the whole season spans one day is intriguing and quite brilliant. We're not sure we'll watch all eight seasons, but we're certainly enjoying this first season.

After watching the first few episodes, I equated Jack Bauer (the main character) as the MacGyver of the current generation. Loved that MacGyver could save the world with a roll of duct tape and a chocolate bar, and I love that Jack Bauer can defy every policy, protocol, and federal guideline in the name of justice.

Contentment

This month, our church is doing a series of blog posts about Biblical Womanhood. Over the course of this month, many women from different stages of life are sharing what God is teaching them. I have been incredibly encouraged and humbled by the wisdom and grace of the women reflecting on their walks with Jesus.

Tonight as I sat down to catch up on my forever growing Google Reader, a post by Deacon Amy Lockman about Stewarding Singleness really spoke to my heart. You may be wondering how and why a blog about singleness would convict me. While Amy used illustrations related to singleness, her reflections were really about contentment. The questions she asked apply to anyone, any struggle, in any stage of life. The following section of her blog post was particularly poignant for me and will be part of my prayer time and reflections this week. Amy shared:

"Each time I start to struggle through my singleness, I have to ask myself the following questions:

• Do I trust that he has ordained my days? (Psalm 139: 5, 6, 16)
• Do I trust that he supplies all I need? (Matthew 6:32)
• Do I trust that never will he leave me or forsake me? (Joshua 1:5)
• Do I trust that who I am in Christ defines me? (Colossians 2:10)

If I am trying to just hang on until I get married and don’t accept my singleness in this season, then I am saying that these days that God has ordained are not enough, that he made a mistake and is a liar."

For me, it isn't about singleness, but infertility.

• Do I trust that God has ordained my days and the days of our children?
• Do I believe that God knows the exact moment we will have children and how they will come into our family?
• Do I define myself as a daughter of Christ or as a woman struggling with infertility?
• Am I content in where God has me right now or am I just hanging on until we adopt a child?
• Is God still good even if we never get pregnant?
• Is God still good even if we don't become parents?

I want to say I always answer a resounding yes to all those questions, but honestly apart from Jesus, I don't. I pray for strength daily, that by God's grace he would help me to be content in this struggle we're facing and continue to teach me in his ways.

Antioch Adoptions Auction

The Antioch Adoptions Benefit Auction for Orphans is coming up on November 6! Cliff and I are excited to attend this event and support this amazing ministry. What makes Antioch Adoptions so amazing is that they place orphans into Christian families without charging any fees to the adoptive family! Of course because Antioch Adoptions is an adoption agency like any other, they still have real costs even though they don't charge the family for the adoption. We feel so blessed to be working with them!

The annual auction is important because Antioch Adoptions relies on donors to provide the financial resources to place orphans into families. Can you help?

Do you have something you could donate for the auction?
Click HERE to access the procurement form.

Would you like to attend this event with us?
We'd love that! Comment and let us know or send us an email. Tickets go on sale soon.

Also, please continue to pray for the amazing staff members at Antioch Adoptions, that many adoptions would be finalized in the coming weeks and months, and for the success of this event!

Sharing Our Story

A few Sundays ago at each of the services at the Mars Hill Ballard Campus, Mackenzie and I had the honor of sharing about our struggles with infertility and the call God has put on our lives to adopt. It was a very full and emotional day, but we were very thankful to have good friends come to support us throughout the day, which meant so much.



Throughout the day we had several opportunities to talk with couples also struggling with infertility, people who had friends and family members who had adopted or had been adopted, and even a birth mom who had created an adoption plan for her child through Antioch Adoptions.

We’re thankful for the work God is doing in our lives, the ways in which he's comforted us through various people we've met, and the opportunities he’s given us to comfort other people facing similar struggles and decisions.

Camping Trip

A few weeks ago, Mackenzie and I filled our Honda Civic with camping gear and supplies and went on a three-day adventure along the Washington Coast and around the Olympic National Park. We've been to the Washington Coast before, but never to the Olympic peninsula.

And believe it or not, this is only the second time we've been camping since we've lived in Washington. The first was for our second anniversary. It wasn't exactly a disaster, but we did get rained on quite a bit, and in hindsight it didn't seem like we packed all the supplies we should have. That wasn't entirely the reason we hadn't been camping again, but I think it kept Mackenzie from wanting to do so anytime soon.

But we wanted to take a short trip this summer and knew we needed to do so with a small budget, so we decided to give camping another go. I'm happy to say our second experience was far better than our first.

We stayed at Kalaloch Campground, literally one block from the beach. Even in August it was cloudy and cool, but we kept a warm fire going at all times while at our site. We even did most of our cooking over the fire, which I think was one of Mackenzie's favorite things. We went with a few of the tried-and-true camping favorites (hobo stew, franks and beans, smores, etc.) and even tried making bacon and coffee over the fire.

While we were there, we took a few hikes along the beach, as well as a few day trips to the Hoh Rain Forest, La Push, and Ruby Beach. Driving just a few miles from the coast, the sun would start to peak out and the temperature would increase by at least ten degrees--weird Washington weather.

My favorite part was lunch along the Hoh River. We found a spot just off the beaten path, stuck our feet in the freezing cold water, and enjoyed the view.

On our way home we took the northern route and stopped along the way to explore Port Angeles, Hurricane Ridge, and Port Townsend. We're already making plans to go back.

Trip to Friday Harbor

As I started to write a post about our trip to the Washington Coast a few weeks ago (coming soon), I realized I hadn't written anything about our trip to Friday Harbor in July with my parents. This summer has just flown by (due partly to the fact that warm, sunny days have been few and far between, which unfortunately, was the case on our trip). But we didn't let that stop us; we never do.

We had a great time exploring San Juan Island: watching for whales along Lime Kiln Point, having breakfast and dinner at Roche Harbor, visiting Mona the camel at the San Juan Vineyard, and hiking through the English Camp and American Camp. Check out some pictures from our trip below.

Garden Update: Veggies are Thriving

In lieu of writing about how our garden is growing, I thought pictures would tell you more!

No, I'm not Laura Ingalls...

but I am enjoying my new adventures in canning!

For my birthday last year, my parents gave me a cooking class. I chose from a number of them and selected a class on canning. I loved the class, typically enjoy cooking, and was excited to apply my new learning.

In January I made citrus marmalade and enjoyed the process, eating my creation, and sharing it with friends. Now that we're gardening and bringing in quite a bit of produce, I'd like to take a more serious approach.

My goal this summer is to can most of our tomatoes (we don't really eat them fresh), make blueberry jam with all the blueberries from our bushes, make applesauce from our apple tree, blackberry jam from our blackberry vine (if it produces enough), and pickled jalapenos. Many of our other veggies we look forward to freezing to use throughout the year. I'm also in the process of learning how to dry and store our herbs.

So far this year I've made and "put up" three pints of preserved lemons, four pints of lemon marmalade, two pints of pickled carrots, quite a bit of strawberry jam, five pints of sliced peaches, and I think next on my list will be blackberry jam once our blackberries ripen!

Check out a few of my products...

preserved lemons

lemon marmalade

FAQs

Here are some of the most frequently asked questions as we pursue adoption, so I'll do my best to answer them!

How long do you think the process will take?
We don't know! That is the challenge and excitement of adoption. It could be a year, it could be many years. What we do know though is that it will all happen according to God's perfect timing. That is to say, we certainly have days where we're discouraged or anxious for the arrival of our children, but ultimately we find peace in placing our trust and hope in Jesus and not in the day our kids are welcomed into our home. (That will be an exciting day though!)

Why are you guys pursuing adoption?
We are pursuing adoption, because we feel called to do so. While we struggled to get pregnant and later learned that medically speaking our chances of getting pregnant without medical intervention are very slim, we feel called to pursue adoption. That is to say, if we do become pregnant, we would still pursue adoption of other children into our family.

What age of a child are you interested in adopting?
At this point, we are planning to adopt an infant or a very young child or sibling group. We are open to God changing our hearts about this, but for now, we're looking to grow as parents with a very little person.

Do you have any specifics that you told your agency - race? gender?
We are open and excited to welcome a child of any race or gender into our home and family.

Are you adopting domestically or internationally?
Antioch Adoptions, our fabulous adoption agency, serves families in western Washington and most of the children they place are from within our state. While in certain instances, children have been placed by Antioch from other states across the country, all the children are from the United States.

We may eventually adopt internationally, but for "Round One," as we like to call it, we'll be adopting domestically.

Where are you in the adoption process?
We recently finished our PRIDE classes, which are classes for people interested in becoming foster homes or adoptive homes. This is a requirement of both the state and our agency before we can move forward in the process. In October and January, we'll be taking two classes through our adoption agency. After that we'll complete a home study, where a social worker will evaluate our home to determine whether placement of a child would be appropriate. From there, we'll be waiting on placement.

Other questions? Ask away!

Cliff the Builder

My husband is wonderful for a number of reasons, but I love that when he gets an idea in his head, he works tirelessly until it is completed! That was the case most recently with the four additional raised veggie beds he built a few weekends ago.

The catalyst for these beds came when we planted sugar snap peas again this year and they took over our veggie beds! So we decided that having a bed for our tall crops (beans, peas, cucumbers, etc.) separate from others would help all of them receive enough sun for them to thrive. We went ahead and built the new beds this summer so we could begin our winter crops in them now and then have our tall crops in them next year.

Check out Cliff's handiwork...

"The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee"

Photo courtesy Matthew R. Throssell

For one of my favorite date nights on record, Cliff bought tickets for us to go and see "The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee." I'd never really heard of this show and certainly didn't know what it was about, but it had come recommended from Cliff's parents.

Cliff surprised me with tickets and we attended the show two weeks ago. It was awesomely hilarious! The show was witty, the music was creative, and the venue for this show was small and you really felt part of the spelling bee. They even had audience members participate. Couldn't have been better!

Haven't seen it? You must go.

For our Seattle friends, you can buy tickets for $20 by clicking HERE. The show runs through August 14th.

Adoption Update: PRIDE Training

We began our PRIDE training on Monday, July 19. PRIDE is a Foster Parent and Adoptive Parent Preparation Course offered by Washington state. Completion of this class is the next step in our adoption journey. Essentially, this class fulfills a requirement of the state and our adoption agency, Antioch Adoptions.

To be honest, we weren't exactly sure what this class would cover. I thought it would mostly involve information about adoption and foster care law, whereas Cliff aniticipated it would be more about how to care for and meet the unique needs of children in the foster care system. After the first night of our class, we realized we were both right.

The class we are attending is taught by a social worker who works for Washington State's Department of Social and Health Services, Children's Administration (DSHS/CA). Over the course of the five nights, we will learn about the foster care system's organizational structure, foster care and adoption law, attachment, discipline, connections to birth parents, etc.

We're excited to learn about how adoption works in our state, learn about the unique challenges that some children in the foster care system may have, and connect with other people who are interested in adoption or foster care. We also will have opportunities to hear from children who were part of the foster care system, foster parents, and adoptive parents.

As always, we would love for you to ask us any questions you have and pray for us as we continue on this path. We pray for God's grace that we could be patient as we submit to his perfect timing.

Treasured Memories

Growing up, we moved a lot. Often when I talk with people about where I grew up and my transient childhood, they instantly guess I was a "military brat"; however, that is not the case. My dad was a college basketball coach.

The number of times my family moved proved difficult at times, but certainly had its benefits: I feel pretty comfortable in new situations, enjoy meeting new people, and have traveled much of this country. Occasionally, I think back to making the move from Alabama to the suburbs of Chicago just before starting high school and am amazed that I made it those first few weeks with my southern drawl, but I did. I actually met my wonderful husband there and am continually amazed at God's plan and provision for our lives.

One of the places growing up that continually felt like home was my Nannie and Pop-Pop's house in Cape Cod, Massachusetts. Because my mom was a teacher and my dad often had more time off in the summer, we would head up to the Cape after school was out and spend many weeks enjoying the beaches, lakes, and time with family.

While my Nannie and Pop-Pop are no longer living and I haven't been back to the Cape in years, I have so many memories of that special place - the penny candy store; riding bikes around the many cul de sacs until dark and my parents forced us to come home; the "treasure hunting" we would do in my Nannie's basement; taking donuts to the beach in the morning; the crazy picture in my Nannie's house of the sea captain whose eyes always followed us; walking out on the rock jetties; and many more. It is such a treasured place in my memory that Cliff actually proposed there, knowing how important it was to me.

Now that I'm an adult, one of the things that takes me back instantly to the memories of the Cape are hydrangea bushes. There were hundreds of them all throughout my Nannie's neighborhood. I always loved the flowers - particularly, their amazing and different colors. The blue ones were my favorite and still are.

When we moved into our home four years ago, we planted two hydrangea bushes. I was desperately hoping that they'd bloom and do well here, and thankfully they have. This is the first year they're large and maturing with numerous blooms. As I walk past the hydrangea bushes each day, I enjoy memories of my Nannie and Pop-Pop, remember the time we spent on the Cape, and look forward to making sweet memories with our kids one day.

And the winner is...

A few weeks ago, Mackenzie and I decided to offer a chance to win a free copy of Russell Moore’s book, Adopted For Life, which has had an amazing impact on us. (By the way, the audio version of this book is now available from Christian Audio. And there's even a Kindle edition, too, if you've converted to e-books like my dad.)

Well, today’s the day we get to announce the winner. Congratulations to Karene Hill, a member at the Mars Hill Ballard campus. And thanks to all who participated in this giveaway.

If you come across any other resources you think would be helpful, please send them our way.

Ten Things I Like About Costco...

1. COMBO PIZZA - If I ever come home from Costco without their version of a supreme pizza, Cliff will disown me. :) It is huge, $10, has lots of delicious veggies, and warms up beautifully for lunches and leftovers. Hard to beat.
2. MEAT - Their chicken breasts, flank steak, organic ground beef, and rotisserie chickens are all so delicious. I also appreciate that they're prepackaged in meal size portions, so I don't have to come home from the store and separate it into one pound packages. Love that!
3. BEDDING - We bought our favorite sheets ever at Costco. They are flannel and so deliciously soft that we use them even in the summer! Recently we bought a new mattress from Costco and we couldn't be happier.
4. BAKERY - The croissants, apple turnovers, and ciabatta bread are the best around.
5. PRODUCE - I appreciate the huge variety of produce Costco offers, but the prices are what really catch my eye.
6. CAR WASH - I've never been much for paying to have my car washed, but after running one of our cars through the $8 wash, I'm sold. It did an awesome job and was very quick!
7. TERIYAKI SAUCE - The Soy Vey teriyaki sauce is incredible. It will transform any piece of meat into something truly amazing.
8. MOCHA FREEZE - Love, love, love it! Worth every penny of the $1.59. Such a nice pick me up on a warm afternoon...like today!
9. BOXES - I like that they pack my items into boxes and not into bags, which makes loading and unloading the car much quicker. Unique too - maybe that's why I like it.
10. VARIETY - Anywhere I can buy dog food, my mattress, flank steak, rugs, books, organic quinoa, and hopefully one day diapers is my kind of place!

I have to admit, it seems a bit odd that a two person household would have a Costco membership since they sell things in such bulk, but we love it!

What are your favorite Costco finds?

Happy Father's Day!

We are blessed to have dads who love and encourage us and have done that our entire lives. They are both men who we respect, enjoy spending time with, and are excited to see as grandfathers. We know they will love our children deeply, because they have taken such good care of us.

We thank God that He blessed us with these men as our dads. Happy Father's Day! We love you both so very much.

Book Giveaway: "Adopted For Life"

As Mackenzie and I shared, Russell Moore's book, Adopted For Life has been a tremendous resource for us as we've started pursuing adoption. So much so that we wanted to give you all an opportunity to win a free copy.

To enter to win:

• Visit the Antioch Adoptions website.
• Find the Scripture reference on their homepage. (While you're there, you can also check out some of the amazing stories from this ministry and learn how you can help support them.)
• Email that Scripture reference to me at cliffe@marshillchurch.org and include "Book Giveaway" in the subject. One entry per person.
  

I'll announce the winner on Wednesday, July 7th.

Time Flies

Six years ago today, all the preparations came to an end and Cliff and I were married in Naperville, Illinois, with treasured family and friends in attendance. It was a wonderful day, a point of great celebration in our lives.

These six years that have followed have been full of many highlights, as well as difficult moments that God used and continues to use to teach us to rely on Him. I am so thankful that God brought us together years ago and my prayer is that we can enjoy many decades of marriage to come.

Last night we had the opportunity to celebrate together. Cliff planned a wonderful evening. We started by heading to dinner at Spring Hill in West Seattle. The restaurant opened a few years years ago to great acclaim, has been noted in many national culinary magazines, and has been on my list to try for awhile. It certainly lived up to its reputation.

As we looked over the menus, our server brought us complimentary glasses of sparkling wine to help us celebrate. Before our entrees arrived, we enjoyed homemade bread and a crab cake that melted in our mouths. For dinner, Cliff ordered the halibut which he described as the best piece of fish he's eaten-not even a hint of "fishiness". I had a hangar steak smothered in caramelized onions and served with homemade french fries. Delicious and particularly enjoyable as all of the food is homemade and/or local.

We absolutely loved the delicious food, but the unassuming and unpretentious atmosphere really made us feel at home. We could not have enjoyed our dinner more.

We then headed out to the Washington Dance Club for a Tango lesson. We arrived to a somewhat empty ballroom, where we signed in and got ready for our lesson. There were about ten other people there for the hour long class. The instructor did a good job of walking us through each step, but doing so with patience and a sense of humor. Even though I have dance experience, I don't know a thing about ballroom dancing and was certainly out of my element. We did our best to keep it lighthearted and had a great time together.

After the lesson, many other people began showing up for the social dance that followed. There were some very skilled and serious dancers that arrived. Cliff and I took one Tango tour of the dance floor and then left the rest of the evening to the professionals. We had a great time laughing and learning together, but that will likely be a once in a lifetime experience for us!

Our evening echoed what the last six years have been like:

• full of new experiences
• moments of uncertainty and challenge
• me learning to look to Cliff as the leader
• accidentally stepping on each others' toes, then asking for forgiveness
• laughing together

I look forward to many more! Happy 6th Anniversary, Cliff! I love you.

Where are we in the adoption process?

We get this question a lot. The truth - the very beginning. I guess for me it will always feel like the beginning until that sweet baby is placed in our arms.

A couple of weeks ago, we took an important step in the process having our pre-screening interview at Antioch Adoptions. We met with Michele, the Executive Director, and answered a number of questions ranging from why we wanted to adopt, to our family backgrounds, to our marriage, and certainly much more. We expected to share all of this information, but I appreciated how conversational and practical it was. Michele shared her experiences as an adoptive mom with us and honestly and openly answered our questions. We also met with a pastor at Antioch Bible Church for a pastoral interview to confirm that we are in fact Christians, as that is one of the criteria of them placing a child into our family. We feel very blessed to have such skilled, compassionate, and God-fearing people surrounding us in this process.

Our next steps are to attend a number of trainings, which we hope to do this summer and fall. Specifically:

• Equip 101, which is Antioch Adoptions' pre-PRIDE training for families planning to adopt.
• PRIDE training through the state.
• Equip 201, which is Antioch Adoptions' post-PRIDE training.

I appreciated Michele's honesty in laying out our timeline, which could range from 1-3 years. Certainly according to God's perfect plan, things could go much more quickly, but could also go more slowly. Our prayer is that we wait humbly and patiently for God's timing and not be overcome by our desire to be parents.

We are so excited about how God will use this amazing ministry to impact our family and others. We would ask that you pray with us for the staff of Antioch Adoptions, financial provision for this ministry, and for us as we await the arrival of our children.

"Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!"
Psalm 27:14