Some News

We haven't posted on this blog since Valentine's Day...trust me, we have been busy!

It is hard to believe that we are now parents to two kids. Yes, you read that correctly...we have two amazing kids. After almost three years desiring to be parents, praying for the blessing of children, researching infertility options, pursuing adoption, completing paperwork, attending classes, and preparing our hearts, we were blessed with a sibling group through the Washington state foster care system.

It all happened extremely quickly - on a Friday we met the kids, the following Tuesday they came for an overnight visit, and then the following Friday they came to our home for a long-term placement (with our desire being that this would eventually move toward adoption). Over the course of the next few months and potentially years, we will pursue adoption of these two precious kids. Please pray with us. (More on that later...)

Our two blessings are siblings. Z is an amazing three year old girl and her brother, L, is ten months old. Because they are currently a foster placement, we cannot post pictures or their full names. The details of their history, story, and background will remain ours to share with them; we won't share it publicly. Our desire is to share what we're learning, how we're growing, the joy we're experiencing, but most importantly how we're seeing God more fully in the midst of all of this.

It has been a HUGE adjustment to parenthood. To be honest, I have so much I want to say. I want to tell you how much fear I had about bringing them home; how much more I love my husband today than I even did two months ago; how we serve an amazing and good God; how much Z loves Elmo; how L has the most amazing belly laugh; how I get to stay home with them each and every day; about my friends and families who have loved our kids before they had even met them; how God's provision for us through our community has been staggering. I will share all of these things, or I'll try to. To be honest, it is hard being a mom and I don't find a whole lot of time for much beyond routine daily tasks...writing a blog post sounds exhausting! (No one ever tells you how much laundry there is when you have kids.) But is is also difficult to think about capturing some of these beautiful moments in words.

I'm not sure there are words to express how immensely grateful and blessed we've been in the last two months. There have been MANY hard days, yet most filled to the brim with joy.

Today was one of those days...a day that I hope I'll remember for a long time. It wasn't particularly memorable for any one reason, just a day where I actually realized how much I have to be thankful for.

Interesting Week

The last few weeks have been full of anticipation as we’ve wrapped up a few loose ends of the foster/adopt licensing process. We had to have physicals and TB tests done. We needed to make copies of our car insurance. Just little things like that, which I never even thought might be part of the process. Turns out, I’ve learned a lot these last few years!

Our social worker, Alexa, mentioned she was hoping to have our foster/adopt home study completed by the end of January so we’d be ready for placement beginning in February, but we actually heard from her last Tuesday. We also heard from our attorney, Andrew, on Monday. It was definitely an interesting week!

Last Monday, Andrew called Cliff to let him know that he had word of a newborn in Bellingham that would need a placement. He was calling to confirm we were interested. Of course we were! Andrew is an amazing attorney, an adoptive dad, a man who loves Jesus, and is a HUGE blessing to us. After three hours of waiting to see what was decided, Andrew called to tell us that the birth mom had chosen a couple she found online before the social worker arrived to share our profile. (Our profile is a brochure explaining who we are and why we are in the adoption process.) We were disappointed to be sure.

Then on Tuesday, Cliff got an email from Alexa, our foster/adopt social worker, about a possible placement of a toddler. We were interested, but there were some details we were unsure about. After discussing the possibility with Alexa and giving her a chance to read the child’s report, she recommended we not pursue the toddler placement. That was a disappointment, because we thought we had a possible placement.

It was definitely a week of ups and downs. There have been many of those for us in this process. Over the almost two years we’ve officially been in the adoption process and in the four years since we started trying to get pregnant, we’ve experienced a great deal of grief and loss. Certainly we’ve had joyful moments of unity, but also moments of disappointment and discouragement.

The only comfort we have is found in Jesus and knowing that he has a plan for us and that he is working all of this together according to his purpose. We have days in which we’re discouraged, but I’m thankful I have a husband, family, and friends who pray for me, love me well, and encourage us to stay focused on what God has called us to. We do believe that we are called to this. Otherwise, I’m not sure how we could possibly move forward.

I got a text from a dear friend last week amidst the ups and downs of the week, encouraging me to read Psalm 16. These verses were a great comfort and reminder to me.

Psalm 16: 1-2, 8-11

Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.
I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord;
I have no good apart from you.”
I have set the LORD always before me;
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption.
You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

We’re praying for:

• Our children’s protection, care, and salvation.
• Our children’s birth parents.
• Our hearts…that we would trust God fully with this and not try to control or idolize becoming parents.
• For discernment to know when to accept a placement and bring a child into our home.
• For the thousands of children in the foster care system who are waiting for families.

Would you join us in praying?

Adoption Update: Pursuing Foster to Adopt

The other day I looked at our blog to see when we last posted something, and realized it's been almost two months. Oops. Then, I had the thought to see when we last posted an update on the adoption process, and was shocked to find it has been over a year. Double oops. So Mackenzie and I agreed it was way past time to give a little update.

But to be honest there isn't a whole lot to share. When people ask where we're at in the process or how things are going, I usually reply with "We're in the hurry-up-and-wait phase." There have been a few possibilities along the way (phone calls and emails about potential leads) that haven't moved forward or worked out for one reason or another, but by in large we've been continuing to wait and pray for the child or children God has planned for us.

Last February (almost a year after we started the process) was the closest we came to having a child placed in our home (literally twenty-four hours away before the birth mom decided to continue raising her eight-month-old son). It was by far one of the hardest and lowest points in this journey, but also one where we experienced God's comfort and peace most evidently through the people he's placed in our lives.

After that experience we struggled to be as excited about the process, and started to feel like a child being placed in our home was never going to happen. We discussed whether we should consider other possibilities, like international adoption, but agreed to wait until the end of this year to make any changes.

Well, about a month or so ago, we both started to sense God calling us to consider getting our foster to adopt license, even though we had both been resistant to that option from the very beginning (be careful what you tell God you won't do). We're on an email chain that periodically sends out info on kids in need of a family and home. Oftentimes, the kids are older than what we've been hoping and praying for (usually five and up), but in the last month or so there have been a couple of kids in the age range we're considering.

In both cases it initially seemed as if the kids were legally free (i.e. ready for adoption), but turned out they were still in foster care and pursuing the possibility of adoption. Because we don't have our foster license, we weren't eligible to have those kids placed with us (plus they were so darn cute there were several families interested). But this led to us having a serious conversation about getting our license. 

So we contacted the social worker in our area of King County who oversees the foster to adopt program, got another packet of paperwork to complete (oh joy!), went to an info meeting last week, and are now planning to do another round of home visits in January. It's still possible that an opportunity for a private adoption could come along, but God continues to challenge our notion of what this whole thing is going to look like.

Foster to adopt would mean that any child or children placed in our home would technically be in foster care, which means the State's ultimate goal would be reunification with their biological parents (most often the mother). But at that point the state would have determined that adoption is a viable option to pursue, often because biological parents haven't met the requirements for their child/children to be returned to them. As you can imagine, this means there's a greater "risk" for us as the potential adoptive family, but we believe God is calling us to love any child in our home for a long as he has them there. As our friend, Michele, explained at our initial adoption info meeting, none of us is guaranteed any amount of time with our children, regardless of whether they're biological kids or not.

So I guess there's more "update" to share in our adoption journey than I initially realized. We appreciate your continued prayers and support, and hope to do a better job this coming year sharing periodic updates. Specifically, please pray that the licensing process moves quickly (we got fingerprinted this morning), so that we can be considered for possible placements soon. And as always, please pray for patience and faith as we continue to wait. 

Adoption Update: Emotional Roller Coaster

This past week or so has been interesting, to say the least. About a week and a half ago (the same day Mackenzie had her wisdom teeth removed), we heard from Special Delivery, an adoption ministry at Overlake Christian Church. They asked if we were interested in being considered as potential adoptive parents for a child due on December 7. The birth mom had a family selected for her daughter; however, the planned adoptive family withdrew from the adoption plan. Mackenzie and I talked about it, prayed, and decided to be considered as a potential adoptive couple.

The crazy part was we didn't have a profile created or our home study completed. In a matter of a few hours, we rushed to put together a profile to explain our life and family to this birth mom and hire a social worker to write our home study. We also put together a letter to the birth parents explaining who we are and why God has placed a call on our hearts to adopt.

The birth mom's case manager shared our profile and a number of other families' profiles that weekend. We got a call late that Sunday afternoon, saying she chose us and two other families to meet with on Thursday in Yakima, WA.

So on Thursday, we drove to Yakima, braving the snowy conditions, and met with the birth mom, her mom, and a woman from Special Delivery, who facilitated the conversation. Having no idea what to expect, we were thankful that the conversation flowed rather naturally. We talked about how we met, what we liked to do for fun, and our vision for parenting. The conversation lasted for about an hour. We both left feeling like it had went as well as we could have possibly wanted. In fact, the whole week had. Things just kept falling into place.

When we left Yakima on Thursday, the long (sometimes painful) process of waiting began. We continued to pray and temper our excitement that this could possibly be the child God had planned to place in our family. Our friends and family were great throughout the week. They prayed for us, brought meals over, and genuinely shared in our excitement and anticipation.

But unfortunately, I got the call yesterday afternoon letting us know that we were not chosen as the adoptive family. The birth mom's case manager shared that after we left our interview, the birth mom commented: "All the families were great. How am I supposed to decide now?!?" She ended up choosing a family that already has children and was excited for her little girl to have siblings.

We are of course very disappointed, but thankful that we were given this opportunity and were even considered. The case manager asked if she could keep our profile to share with other birth moms, and we of course said yes!

In the last week and a half, we've been praying for God's will to be done and it has...now we're praying that our response would be honoring to him. We know God has a child for us and pray for the day we welcome him or her into our family.

We are so thankful for your prayers, support, love, and encouragement over the last week. It's truly been an emotional roller coaster, but we're thankful God has put so many people in our lives who are willing to ride it with us.

Auction Extravaganza

Each year, Antioch Adoptions hosts two major fundraisers - a banquet and an auction. Two weeks ago, we had the opportunity to attend the Taste of Compassion auction. Because we'd never been to this auction before, we were unsure of what to expect. We were thankful to have Rita and Gary (Cliff's parents who flew in from Indiana!) and my dad attend with us, as well as some other friends from church. Having friends and family there made a fun night even more enjoyable.

There was a silent auction with lots of items to choose from, including a generous donation from our friends, Kyle and Kathleen, who own The Creative Date. We enjoyed delicious food from Seastar restaurant, Class Act Catering, and Bonsai Sushi as we perused the silent auction items and made our bids. There was also an engaging live auction with a phenomenal auctioneer who made it great fun.

Midway through the live auction, we heard a moving and entertaining testimony from a 17 year old who was adopted as a child. It was a great reminder of why we were all there.

Overall, the event was phenomenal! There was an incredible amount of work that went into pulling off such a complex evening, but it was organized and managed beautifully. And the auction managed to raise over $52,000 - enough money to sponsor six adoptions! That is absolutely amazing!

We continue to pray for Antioch Adoptions, for the staff, and for generous people to donate to this ministry. We invite you to pray and give as you feel called. If you're interested in donating in any way (one time donations or regular giving), go to the Antioch Adoptions website or comment below, and we'll help you get connected!

It's Been Awhile

I realized this morning that it's been over a month since we last posted something on our blog. As you can imagine, it's been a busy month. Among other things, toward the beginning of the month, we went to our most recent meeting at Antioch Adoptions to learn about some changes they've made to their adoption process, as well as more about our homestudy.

Since then, we've slowly but surely been answering the seemingly endless pages of questions that our case manager will use for our two in-home interviews. The goal, as I understand it, is for our case manager to get to know us, so that he/she can eventually write our homestudy, which basically indicates that we've been approved for adoption by our agency. A judge will then use that document to ultimately decide whether or not to finalize our adoption once it gets to that point.

In addition to working on our homestudy homework, we've also started gathering pictures to use for our family profile, which is basically an extensive brochure for a birth mom to look through when trying to choose a family to place her child with. Once we're approved for placement, Antioch Adoptions will begin looking for a birth mom and/or child to match us with based on any criteria we've provided or the birth mom has provided. In our case we don't have a preference when it comes to gender or race, but we are hoping and praying for a child who is one or younger (at least, as Mackenzie likes to say, this "round"). We're also open to multiples (twins, triplets) and sibling groups (an infant with an older brother or sister, for example).

In the midst of all of this, we had an amazing experience this past Sunday. After we shared our testimony at the Ballard campus about our struggles with infertility and pursuit of adoption, a young woman came up to us after the service and told us she was a birth mom who had created an adoption plan through Antioch Adoptions a few months earlier. She gave us her contact info and offered to meet with us to share her story and answer any questions we had. We were amazed at her willingness to support us during such a difficult time in her own life.

So we followed up with her and arranged to have lunch this past Sunday. As can be expected, it was a little awkward at first as none of us knew exactly where to start. But once she backed up a bit and started telling us how she got pregnant and why she decided to create an adoption plan for her child, the questions and conversation flowed naturally. She told us about the birth father's reaction to her decision, as well as reactions from her family members--all of which left her feeling alone and isolated.

But she was thankful for the relationship she had with the adoptive family, which began while she was still pregnant and has continued after her child was born. She has felt loved and welcomed into their family and continues to be a part of her child's life. In many ways Mackenzie and I felt like her situation represented a best-case scenario, even though there were still ongoing struggles and difficulties. It was amazing to see God's grace at work in her life and her child's life and to see God fulfill his promise in Romans 8:28 that he will use any situation or circumstance for good.

We were also excited to learn earlier this week that my parents are flying out in just over a week for the Antioch Adoptions Auction. I think it'll be a great opportunity for them to see first-hand why we're so thankful for Antioch Adoptions' ministry and the people who are so passionate about caring for orphans, supporting birth parents, and helping adoptive families. (If anyone else is interested in joining us on Saturday, November 6th at 6pm at Overlake Christian Church in Redmond, let us know.)

We'll be sure to post pictures from this event and keep you all posted on our progress through the homestudy process. Thank you all for your love, support, and prayers.

Antioch Adoptions Auction

The Antioch Adoptions Benefit Auction for Orphans is coming up on November 6! Cliff and I are excited to attend this event and support this amazing ministry. What makes Antioch Adoptions so amazing is that they place orphans into Christian families without charging any fees to the adoptive family! Of course because Antioch Adoptions is an adoption agency like any other, they still have real costs even though they don't charge the family for the adoption. We feel so blessed to be working with them!

The annual auction is important because Antioch Adoptions relies on donors to provide the financial resources to place orphans into families. Can you help?

Do you have something you could donate for the auction?
Click HERE to access the procurement form.

Would you like to attend this event with us?
We'd love that! Comment and let us know or send us an email. Tickets go on sale soon.

Also, please continue to pray for the amazing staff members at Antioch Adoptions, that many adoptions would be finalized in the coming weeks and months, and for the success of this event!

Sharing Our Story

A few Sundays ago at each of the services at the Mars Hill Ballard Campus, Mackenzie and I had the honor of sharing about our struggles with infertility and the call God has put on our lives to adopt. It was a very full and emotional day, but we were very thankful to have good friends come to support us throughout the day, which meant so much.



Throughout the day we had several opportunities to talk with couples also struggling with infertility, people who had friends and family members who had adopted or had been adopted, and even a birth mom who had created an adoption plan for her child through Antioch Adoptions.

We’re thankful for the work God is doing in our lives, the ways in which he's comforted us through various people we've met, and the opportunities he’s given us to comfort other people facing similar struggles and decisions.

FAQs

Here are some of the most frequently asked questions as we pursue adoption, so I'll do my best to answer them!

How long do you think the process will take?
We don't know! That is the challenge and excitement of adoption. It could be a year, it could be many years. What we do know though is that it will all happen according to God's perfect timing. That is to say, we certainly have days where we're discouraged or anxious for the arrival of our children, but ultimately we find peace in placing our trust and hope in Jesus and not in the day our kids are welcomed into our home. (That will be an exciting day though!)

Why are you guys pursuing adoption?
We are pursuing adoption, because we feel called to do so. While we struggled to get pregnant and later learned that medically speaking our chances of getting pregnant without medical intervention are very slim, we feel called to pursue adoption. That is to say, if we do become pregnant, we would still pursue adoption of other children into our family.

What age of a child are you interested in adopting?
At this point, we are planning to adopt an infant or a very young child or sibling group. We are open to God changing our hearts about this, but for now, we're looking to grow as parents with a very little person.

Do you have any specifics that you told your agency - race? gender?
We are open and excited to welcome a child of any race or gender into our home and family.

Are you adopting domestically or internationally?
Antioch Adoptions, our fabulous adoption agency, serves families in western Washington and most of the children they place are from within our state. While in certain instances, children have been placed by Antioch from other states across the country, all the children are from the United States.

We may eventually adopt internationally, but for "Round One," as we like to call it, we'll be adopting domestically.

Where are you in the adoption process?
We recently finished our PRIDE classes, which are classes for people interested in becoming foster homes or adoptive homes. This is a requirement of both the state and our agency before we can move forward in the process. In October and January, we'll be taking two classes through our adoption agency. After that we'll complete a home study, where a social worker will evaluate our home to determine whether placement of a child would be appropriate. From there, we'll be waiting on placement.

Other questions? Ask away!

Adoption Update: PRIDE Training

We began our PRIDE training on Monday, July 19. PRIDE is a Foster Parent and Adoptive Parent Preparation Course offered by Washington state. Completion of this class is the next step in our adoption journey. Essentially, this class fulfills a requirement of the state and our adoption agency, Antioch Adoptions.

To be honest, we weren't exactly sure what this class would cover. I thought it would mostly involve information about adoption and foster care law, whereas Cliff aniticipated it would be more about how to care for and meet the unique needs of children in the foster care system. After the first night of our class, we realized we were both right.

The class we are attending is taught by a social worker who works for Washington State's Department of Social and Health Services, Children's Administration (DSHS/CA). Over the course of the five nights, we will learn about the foster care system's organizational structure, foster care and adoption law, attachment, discipline, connections to birth parents, etc.

We're excited to learn about how adoption works in our state, learn about the unique challenges that some children in the foster care system may have, and connect with other people who are interested in adoption or foster care. We also will have opportunities to hear from children who were part of the foster care system, foster parents, and adoptive parents.

As always, we would love for you to ask us any questions you have and pray for us as we continue on this path. We pray for God's grace that we could be patient as we submit to his perfect timing.

And the winner is...

A few weeks ago, Mackenzie and I decided to offer a chance to win a free copy of Russell Moore’s book, Adopted For Life, which has had an amazing impact on us. (By the way, the audio version of this book is now available from Christian Audio. And there's even a Kindle edition, too, if you've converted to e-books like my dad.)

Well, today’s the day we get to announce the winner. Congratulations to Karene Hill, a member at the Mars Hill Ballard campus. And thanks to all who participated in this giveaway.

If you come across any other resources you think would be helpful, please send them our way.

Book Giveaway: "Adopted For Life"

As Mackenzie and I shared, Russell Moore's book, Adopted For Life has been a tremendous resource for us as we've started pursuing adoption. So much so that we wanted to give you all an opportunity to win a free copy.

To enter to win:

• Visit the Antioch Adoptions website.
• Find the Scripture reference on their homepage. (While you're there, you can also check out some of the amazing stories from this ministry and learn how you can help support them.)
• Email that Scripture reference to me at cliffe@marshillchurch.org and include "Book Giveaway" in the subject. One entry per person.
  

I'll announce the winner on Wednesday, July 7th.

Where are we in the adoption process?

We get this question a lot. The truth - the very beginning. I guess for me it will always feel like the beginning until that sweet baby is placed in our arms.

A couple of weeks ago, we took an important step in the process having our pre-screening interview at Antioch Adoptions. We met with Michele, the Executive Director, and answered a number of questions ranging from why we wanted to adopt, to our family backgrounds, to our marriage, and certainly much more. We expected to share all of this information, but I appreciated how conversational and practical it was. Michele shared her experiences as an adoptive mom with us and honestly and openly answered our questions. We also met with a pastor at Antioch Bible Church for a pastoral interview to confirm that we are in fact Christians, as that is one of the criteria of them placing a child into our family. We feel very blessed to have such skilled, compassionate, and God-fearing people surrounding us in this process.

Our next steps are to attend a number of trainings, which we hope to do this summer and fall. Specifically:

• Equip 101, which is Antioch Adoptions' pre-PRIDE training for families planning to adopt.
• PRIDE training through the state.
• Equip 201, which is Antioch Adoptions' post-PRIDE training.

I appreciated Michele's honesty in laying out our timeline, which could range from 1-3 years. Certainly according to God's perfect plan, things could go much more quickly, but could also go more slowly. Our prayer is that we wait humbly and patiently for God's timing and not be overcome by our desire to be parents.

We are so excited about how God will use this amazing ministry to impact our family and others. We would ask that you pray with us for the staff of Antioch Adoptions, financial provision for this ministry, and for us as we await the arrival of our children.

"Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!"
Psalm 27:14

Mackenzie's Book List...Update: Part 2

When choosing books to read this year, I did so before we learned of our infertility and before we felt compelled and called to adopt. Since that moment, there have been a number of resources that we've accessed to learn about adoption, understanding our call as Christians to care for orphans, and what that means for our family.

Books I've read that weren't on my initial 2010 reading list:

Adopted for Life by Russell Moore
This book was instrumental in shaping our understanding of how adoption is a joy and brought us to a crucial understanding of how we were adopted as sons and daughters into the family of God when we put our faith in Jesus Christ. Absolutely phenomenal book. Read Cliff's thoughts here.

Fields of the Fatherless by Tom Davis
This book was not as moving as others I've read, but it did provide some helpful perspective on the role that others can play in supporting an adoptive family. To care for orphans doesn't necessarily mean adopting one; there are many other ways to love and care for the fatherless.

Hannah's Hope by Jennifer Saake
As I mentioned in my review, apart from Scripture, this book has been the most helpful to me in processing our infertility.

Why Was I Adopted? by Carole Livingston
This book was recommended to me by a friend of a friend who was adopted as an infant. She remembers reading this book frequently with her sister and she shared how helpful it was in helping her understand adoption. I came home after that coffee date and looked on Amazon to find the book was out of print...one new copy for over $1000 and a couple of used copies for less than $3. I'm sure you can guess which one I purchased! It arrived yesterday and this book is truly a treasure...we're sure our kids will love it!

Antioch Adoptions Banquet

On May 8th, Cliff and I had the opportunity to attend the annual Antioch Adoptions Banquet. This year was the celebration of their 10th anniversary and the fact that they've placed over 300 children into forever homes--AMAZING! It was a very special evening and we were very thankful our friends Samson and Liz joined us. Their company definitely made it even more fun!

The evening included stories of families who adopted children through Antioch Adoptions, celebrations of the blessings of adoption, many encouraging speakers, and a delicious meal. (We had a few empty seats at our table, so Samson and Cliff did a nice job of making sure none of the food went to waste.) They had also put together two slide shows, Orphan Montage and What is Adopted?, which were both informative and touching.

One of the highlights of the evening for me was seeing the adoptive families together. Not only had many of the children in attendance been placed into their families by Antioch Adoptions, but they also had a special job--they were the ushers who showed us to our table. It excited me to think that one day our children may attend and seat guests at upcoming banquets. What a joy that would be!

It was a very special evening and we were excited to support the amazing work God is doing through Antioch Adoptions.

Rejoice With Those Who Rejoice

A few months ago, as I was driving to work on the West Seattle Bridge, I had a crystal clear vision of Mackenzie and me standing on the stage at the Ballard campus dedicating our adopted child. What's strange is that I hadn't been thinking about adoption at all. I was just driving to work, listening to the radio, and thinking through my coming day. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, this picture popped into my mind.

Well, the floodgates immediately opened and I started bawling uncontrollably to the point that I almost had to pull over, which if you've been on the West Seattle Bridge, you know is nearly an impossible feat.

I'd never experienced anything like this before. Where had this come from and why had it come now? To be sure, adoption had been and continues to be a prominent topic of conversation for Mackenzie and me, so it was definitely on my mind. But until that point, our conversations had centered around the immediate next steps--not the hoped for eventual outcome and what that would entail.

It was clear that God was giving me a glimpse of what he had in store for us. He was showing me that being parents means more than just passing on our DNA; it means raising our children to know, honor, obey, and love Jesus. That's why we dedicate babies--not to secure their salvation (only Jesus can do that), but to promise to love and lead them in a way that points them to Jesus. In turn, our church family promises to support, encourage, and help us as we raise our children.

Mars Hill typically does baby dedications on Mother's Day and Father's Day, so two weeks ago, we watched twenty families at the Ballard campus stand before the congregation, introduce their child, read a few verses they had selected for him/her, and pray that God would help them raise their children in a way that glorifies Jesus.

It's a cute spectacle to say the least. In true Mars Hill fashion, many of the kids are decked out in Chuck Taylor's and spiky hair, but there's a fair share of pink bows and frilly dresses. Most of the kids either squirm, cry, or grab for the mic as their parents try to read their selected verses. Some of the kids even helped lead worship this year.

This year at the end of the service, Pastor Bill Clem, our campus pastor, acknowledged that for couples like us struggling with infertility or those who have experienced miscarriages, Mother's Day and Father's Day can be difficult emotionally. But he encouraged us to "Rejoice with those who rejoice," just as we would "weep with those who weep" (Romans 12:15). And as Mackenzie shared, by God's grace, we were able to do just that. We're thankful for how God has blessed so many families in our church and hopeful for the day we, too, will stand before our church and dedicate our child to the Lord.

Language Land Mines

I've often felt that political correctness is politeness run amok--especially since politically correct terms seem to change on a daily basis. I don't enjoy the feeling of cautiously tip-toeing through conversations afraid to step on language land mines.

But being a recovering English geek, I am aware of what people say, how they say it, and how both effect the people to whom they're saying it. I want my speech to be edifying, not offensive (Ephesians 4:29).

And I've become even more aware of this as Mackenzie and I have shared our struggles with infertility and our pursuit of adoption. There's an element of vulnerability involved in both cases, and what people say and how they say it can have a significant impact.

With infertility, it's a matter of people wanting to ask questions and offer encouragement, but not really knowing how to do either without prying or somehow offending us. In terms of prying, we generally assure people that we're open to answer any questions and to share as many or as few details as they're comfortable with.

The encouragement piece is a little trickier. In most cases, the people offering encouragement are ones we love and who love us; consequently, they don't like seeing us hurting and want to assure us that everything will work out. This last part is true, but how everything will work out might be different than they or we think. I'm hesitant to share specific examples of the things people have said because I know they meant well, but I do want to reiterate that our hope is in Jesus and what he's done for us on the cross (namely, saving us from our sins and restoring our relationship with God the Father), not our ability to get pregnant.

What Mackenzie and I are currently working through is the language we'll use if/when we adopt. Russell Moore's book, Adopted For Life, (one that we both highly recommend) has been greatly helpful in this. He and his wife adopted two boys from Russia who were born three weeks apart, but not from the same biological parents. Moore explains in chapter two that one of the most common questions people asked him and his wife was "Are they brothers?" And each time someone asked them, he would emphatically reply, "Yes, they are."

Now to be sure, he knew what they meant. He knew it was a well intended question to learn more about the boys and their origins. But more importantly, he knew how essential it was for the boys to know that through adoption, they were in fact brothers--not to mention his sons.

That's one of the most beautiful things about adoption. People with no natural, genetic relationship are transformed into a family. And what's better is that this is a picture of our renewed relationship with God through his Son, Jesus. The Apostle Paul uses the image of adoption to explain the Gospel in several places: Ephesians 1:3-14, Galatians 4:3-7, and Romans 8:12-17.

In another chapter Moore stresses that "adopted" is a past-tense verb, not an adjective. He explains that "the term 'adopted kid' assumes an ongoing difference, something that differentiates him from a 'regular kid.'" But adoption is an act that happened in the past; it doesn't define a child anymore than being born premature makes a child the "premature kid" (to use another one of Moore's examples). Adoption is a part of their story, not their identity.

I don't share all of this with you so you'll watch what you say when you're around us, but to share with you what we've learned these past few months--how infertility and adoption are far different from what we could have ever imagined (and we're just getting started with the latter). Neither fit well into the plan we had for our family. But we've started to realize that this isn't Plan B; this is what God intended for us all along. And throughout this experience, we expect to learn things about him and ourselves that we never would have otherwise.

Next Steps in the Adoption Process

Many of you have asked, "So now what?!?!" in reference to the next steps in our journey toward adoption. To summarize, there are many and they could take a long time.

We submitted our paperwork, and are now waiting for a phone call to set up interviews with Antioch Adoptions. If approved, we would then participate in PRIDE (Parents' Resources for Information Development Education) trainings through the state, complete a home study, and then wait for the child God has planned for our family. The entire process can go quickly (nine months) or can go more slowly (years).

For those of you that know Cliff and me well, the waiting game is not our strength. Nothing about this process is easy, expected, or accommodating to a couple of Type A planners like we are.

We are certainly learning what it looks like to submit to God's timing and not our own and to wait patiently. We would truly appreciate your prayers as we embark upon the very beginning of this huge and complex process.

Antioch Adoptions Banquet

We are excited to attend the annual Antioch Adoptions Banquet on Saturday, May 8, to celebrate the amazing work God has done through this agency! This year marks their 10th anniversary; celebrating more than 300 children placed into Christian families without charging families any fees. We are praying this agency is the vehicle by which God brings children into our family.

Would you like to join us in celebrating the amazing work God has done through Antioch Adoptions? Tickets to this celebration are $40 per person and tickets can be purchased by clicking HERE.

The Mission of Antioch Adoptions: To place infants and children regardless of ethnicity, age, or special needs into Christian adoptive homes, and to remove financial, perceptual and practical barriers to adoption.

We Submitted Our Adoption Paperwork!

It's hard to believe that we attended the Intro to Adoption Class at Antioch Bible Church just six weeks ago. Since then, we've been sorting through all the paperwork and preparing to take the next step in the process: mailing a rather full envelope off to Antioch Adoptions, which Mackenzie did yesterday!

A few weeks ago, we also went to the King County Courthouse to have our finger prints taken as part of our FBI background check. Let me tell you, the courthouse is not a fun place--nothing says "welcome" like metal detectors. (And while Mackenzie was getting her fingerprints taken, I witnessed an intoxicated man yell, "I'm 'bout to sue somebody. I don't need no identification," to the woman behind the counter.)

Moving forward, it takes about a month to process the packet and schedule a pre-screening appointment, which is a 2-3 hour meeting with a pastor from Antioch and a member of the adoption ministry team.

Please pray that God would continue preparing our hearts and our home for the child (or children) he has chosen for us, and help us be patient as we walk through this process.