Personal Retreat - Reflections

I had my first ever "Personal Retreat" this morning. I enjoyed about two hours down at the Tully's on Alki in front of the fireplace with an americano, listening to Mumford & Sons on Pandora, watching the ferries go by, and writing. To begin, I created a document based on the questions and verses listed in Shopping for Time: How to Do It All and NOT Be Overwhelmed. This helped guide my prayer and reflection.

It was an amazing time to reflect on my life and assess how I'm doing in the following areas:

• Growing in Godliness
• Loving my family
• Serving in my church
• Building relationships
• Attending to my work
• Caring for my physical health

I not only spent time praying and thinking about what God would have me see that is and isn't working in my life, but also putting a few plans in place to grow in each of the areas above. I was blessed by my time this morning and look forward to a quarterly personal retreat. As I'm not inclined to regular times of reflection, I pray this intentionality will help me grow in this area.

Have you ever done anything like this? I'd encourage you to give it a try!

Personal Retreat

Today I read a book by Carolyn Mahaney and her daughters called Shopping for Time: How to Do It All and NOT be Overwhelmed. It was an extremely quick read, but contained some very helpful suggestions and opportunities for reflection.

Like many people, I feel as though I have to do it all...I definitely have my days where I sinfully attempt to be all things to all people. The reality is, I can't be. In fact, that desire is rooted in sinful pride and self-sufficiency. This book was a good reminder that God has called me to very specific priorities, and helped me see the benefit of periodically checking in to see if I'm living in light of those.

The most significant "take away" I had after reading this book, was the concept of a personal retreat. I am not good at taking a focused time to reflect, journal, assess, and seek God's plan my life. Cliff and I do this with our calendars and our finances, but I haven't taken time to do this individually; to pray over the past few months, assess specific areas of life related to my priorities, and plan for the coming months.

In the book, Carolyn Mahaney and her daughters suggest taking a few hours, a day, or even an overnight to get away, pray, plan, journal, reflect, and set specific goals and next steps. I can't remember the last time I did something like this, and to be honest, I'm not sure I ever really have. Conveniently, this is my spring break, so I'm planning to get away tomorrow morning. I'm going to get up early, head to a local coffee shop, and spend some time with a journal and my Bible. 

I pray this time is helpful and beneficial for me and honoring to God. I'm excited to see how He will use this to grow and develop me.

"Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life."
2 Corinthians 3:5-6

Mackenzie's 2010 Book List in Review

At the beginning of last year, I posted my reading list for the year. I really enjoyed planning what I'd read and being intentional with this area of my life. So much so, that I'm currently working on my reading list for 2011, and I'll share that as soon as it is complete.

Today, though, I thought I'd share with you how I did this past year in completing my reading list. I certainly didn't read everything I'd intended to, but I read most! I also read quite a few books this year that weren't on my list.

Books on my list that I actually read:

• Death by Love: Letters from the Cross (Re:Lit) by Mark Driscoll & Gerry Breshears
• Womanly Dominion: More Than A Gentle and Quiet Spirit by Mark Chanski
• Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands by Paul David Tripp
• Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life (P.S.) by Barbara Kingsolver
• Real Food: What to Eat and Why by Nina Planck
• The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name by Sally Lloyd-Jones
• In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto by Michael Pollan
• From Clutter to Clarity: Simplifying Life from the Inside Out by Nancy Twigg
• Humility: True Greatness by C. J. Mahaney & Joshua Harris

Books I'd planned to read this year, but didn't:

• The Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis (I am putting it on my list for 2011.)
• The Majesty of the Law by Sandra Day O'Connor (I started it, but lost interest.)
• Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist by John Piper (I think I'm intimidated! I am putting it on my list for 2011.)

Books that weren't on my list, but I read this year:

• Adopted for Life by Russell Moore - An absolute must read!
• Fields of the Fatherless by Tom Davis
• Hannah's Hope by Jennifer Saake - As I wrote in my review, apart from Scripture, this book has been the most helpful to me in processing our infertility.
• Why Was I Adopted? by Carole Livingston
• A Homemade Life by Molly Wizenberg
• A Praying Life by Paul R. Miller
• So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore
• Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet by Jamie Ford
• Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus: Experiencing the Peace and Promise of Christmas
  by Nancy Guthrie
• The Help by Katheryn Stockett
• Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God by Francis Chan
• One with a Shepherd: The Tears and Triumphs of a Ministry Marriage by Mary Somerville
• Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
• I probably forgot a few! :)

As I look over the books I've read this year, I can see the trends of the year - infertility, adoption, my growing interest in cooking and food, learning about Biblical womanhood, and a few historical fiction books sprinkled here and there.

I'm thankful for the things I've learned and the way God has used these books to shape and prepare me. I'll share my 2011 list very soon!

Garden: Season in Review

We had quite a bit of success in our gardening adventure this year...certainly more than we did last year.


Some reflections:

• Our lettuce, zucchini, sugar snap peas, Swiss chard, kale, green beans, garlic, cucumbers, herbs, berries, and potatoes were fantastic! They will all be repeats next year.


• Square foot gardening is the way to go...so manageable, maximizes our space and yields, and provides some practical guidance for managing a home garden.


• We won't plant potatoes in our raised beds again - they end up taking over! I found some of our red potatoes underneath my tomato plants. Instead, we're planning to plant them in a garbage can so they're contained. More to come on that...


• Our carrots were awesome! We will definitely be planting more of them next spring.


• Our onions weren't wildly successful...we probably won't use the garden space on them again next year.


• Our tomatoes did poorly. The cool summer and huge amount of rain we got this spring and summer did not lead to a booming crop of tomatoes. This was also the case for our poor peppers...we didn't harvest any, which was disappointing considering we had red peppers coming out of our ears last year. We will definitely be trying again next year!

Overall, this year was a success. I've tried my best to "put up" many of our crops either through canning or freezing. I have enough zucchini to make zucchini bread from now until next year's crop comes through.

I look forward to continuing to learn and improve our garden. Lots to think about and plan for next year. Even though we still have a few things out in the garden, our growing season is definitely coming to a close. Certainly because of our mild climate, we could grow through the winter, but I think a break will do us all good.

Contentment

This month, our church is doing a series of blog posts about Biblical Womanhood. Over the course of this month, many women from different stages of life are sharing what God is teaching them. I have been incredibly encouraged and humbled by the wisdom and grace of the women reflecting on their walks with Jesus.

Tonight as I sat down to catch up on my forever growing Google Reader, a post by Deacon Amy Lockman about Stewarding Singleness really spoke to my heart. You may be wondering how and why a blog about singleness would convict me. While Amy used illustrations related to singleness, her reflections were really about contentment. The questions she asked apply to anyone, any struggle, in any stage of life. The following section of her blog post was particularly poignant for me and will be part of my prayer time and reflections this week. Amy shared:

"Each time I start to struggle through my singleness, I have to ask myself the following questions:

• Do I trust that he has ordained my days? (Psalm 139: 5, 6, 16)
• Do I trust that he supplies all I need? (Matthew 6:32)
• Do I trust that never will he leave me or forsake me? (Joshua 1:5)
• Do I trust that who I am in Christ defines me? (Colossians 2:10)

If I am trying to just hang on until I get married and don’t accept my singleness in this season, then I am saying that these days that God has ordained are not enough, that he made a mistake and is a liar."

For me, it isn't about singleness, but infertility.

• Do I trust that God has ordained my days and the days of our children?
• Do I believe that God knows the exact moment we will have children and how they will come into our family?
• Do I define myself as a daughter of Christ or as a woman struggling with infertility?
• Am I content in where God has me right now or am I just hanging on until we adopt a child?
• Is God still good even if we never get pregnant?
• Is God still good even if we don't become parents?

I want to say I always answer a resounding yes to all those questions, but honestly apart from Jesus, I don't. I pray for strength daily, that by God's grace he would help me to be content in this struggle we're facing and continue to teach me in his ways.

Treasured Memories

Growing up, we moved a lot. Often when I talk with people about where I grew up and my transient childhood, they instantly guess I was a "military brat"; however, that is not the case. My dad was a college basketball coach.

The number of times my family moved proved difficult at times, but certainly had its benefits: I feel pretty comfortable in new situations, enjoy meeting new people, and have traveled much of this country. Occasionally, I think back to making the move from Alabama to the suburbs of Chicago just before starting high school and am amazed that I made it those first few weeks with my southern drawl, but I did. I actually met my wonderful husband there and am continually amazed at God's plan and provision for our lives.

One of the places growing up that continually felt like home was my Nannie and Pop-Pop's house in Cape Cod, Massachusetts. Because my mom was a teacher and my dad often had more time off in the summer, we would head up to the Cape after school was out and spend many weeks enjoying the beaches, lakes, and time with family.

While my Nannie and Pop-Pop are no longer living and I haven't been back to the Cape in years, I have so many memories of that special place - the penny candy store; riding bikes around the many cul de sacs until dark and my parents forced us to come home; the "treasure hunting" we would do in my Nannie's basement; taking donuts to the beach in the morning; the crazy picture in my Nannie's house of the sea captain whose eyes always followed us; walking out on the rock jetties; and many more. It is such a treasured place in my memory that Cliff actually proposed there, knowing how important it was to me.

Now that I'm an adult, one of the things that takes me back instantly to the memories of the Cape are hydrangea bushes. There were hundreds of them all throughout my Nannie's neighborhood. I always loved the flowers - particularly, their amazing and different colors. The blue ones were my favorite and still are.

When we moved into our home four years ago, we planted two hydrangea bushes. I was desperately hoping that they'd bloom and do well here, and thankfully they have. This is the first year they're large and maturing with numerous blooms. As I walk past the hydrangea bushes each day, I enjoy memories of my Nannie and Pop-Pop, remember the time we spent on the Cape, and look forward to making sweet memories with our kids one day.

Time Flies

Six years ago today, all the preparations came to an end and Cliff and I were married in Naperville, Illinois, with treasured family and friends in attendance. It was a wonderful day, a point of great celebration in our lives.

These six years that have followed have been full of many highlights, as well as difficult moments that God used and continues to use to teach us to rely on Him. I am so thankful that God brought us together years ago and my prayer is that we can enjoy many decades of marriage to come.

Last night we had the opportunity to celebrate together. Cliff planned a wonderful evening. We started by heading to dinner at Spring Hill in West Seattle. The restaurant opened a few years years ago to great acclaim, has been noted in many national culinary magazines, and has been on my list to try for awhile. It certainly lived up to its reputation.

As we looked over the menus, our server brought us complimentary glasses of sparkling wine to help us celebrate. Before our entrees arrived, we enjoyed homemade bread and a crab cake that melted in our mouths. For dinner, Cliff ordered the halibut which he described as the best piece of fish he's eaten-not even a hint of "fishiness". I had a hangar steak smothered in caramelized onions and served with homemade french fries. Delicious and particularly enjoyable as all of the food is homemade and/or local.

We absolutely loved the delicious food, but the unassuming and unpretentious atmosphere really made us feel at home. We could not have enjoyed our dinner more.

We then headed out to the Washington Dance Club for a Tango lesson. We arrived to a somewhat empty ballroom, where we signed in and got ready for our lesson. There were about ten other people there for the hour long class. The instructor did a good job of walking us through each step, but doing so with patience and a sense of humor. Even though I have dance experience, I don't know a thing about ballroom dancing and was certainly out of my element. We did our best to keep it lighthearted and had a great time together.

After the lesson, many other people began showing up for the social dance that followed. There were some very skilled and serious dancers that arrived. Cliff and I took one Tango tour of the dance floor and then left the rest of the evening to the professionals. We had a great time laughing and learning together, but that will likely be a once in a lifetime experience for us!

Our evening echoed what the last six years have been like:

• full of new experiences
• moments of uncertainty and challenge
• me learning to look to Cliff as the leader
• accidentally stepping on each others' toes, then asking for forgiveness
• laughing together

I look forward to many more! Happy 6th Anniversary, Cliff! I love you.

Goodreads: Social Media For Readers

I enjoy Facebook and Twitter as much as the next social media fanatic, but in many ways my favorite social media site is Goodreads. This is a great site for bookworms like myself, who enjoy keeping track of what they read, reading and sharing reviews and ratings, seeing what friends are reading, and discovering new books.

There are many other features that I haven't even explored yet, but one of my favorite organizational options is the customizable bookshelves. The site allows you to create different bookshelves to arrange your books anyway you like. I try to keep mine simple: currently reading, to-read, and read. My "to-read" list is a bit daunting, but it's good to know there's never a shortage of books to read and things to learn--keeps me humble.

Teresa, my best "Goodreads friend" (and a great friend in real life, too), pointed out recently that my "read" list has been heavily weighted with theological books. That's not a bad thing, of course, but she encouraged me to throw in a piece of fiction every now and then, which I definitely plan to do after finishing the Re:Train program next month.

If you haven't already, I'd encourage you to join Goodreads, add your books, and add me as a friend, so I can keep up with what you're reading.

Riding the Re:Train

Last August, Mars Hill Church, our home church for the past four years and where I've been working for the past two years, started a Masters of Missional Leadership program called Re:Train. The program is designed to provide a seminary experience with a heavy emphasis on practical application. Pastors and professors from all over the country, including Dr. Bruce Ware, Dr. Gregg Allison, and Dr. John Piper have traveled to Seattle for one weekend out of the month to teach what's typically weeks worth of material in two intense days.

I was blessed to be accepted into the program this year as one of the seventy students in the inaugural class. It's been a challenging, but enjoyable experience. Along the way I've had the opportunity to learn from some amazingly wise, Christian men, read many challenging and helpful books, and think through what it looks like to put all of this into practice.

I'm currently working on our final assignment: a thirty-five to fifty page Master's Thesis, which will serve as a synthesis of what I've learned this past year, as well as a vision and plan for my life in ministry this coming year.

Following Mackenzie's example (part 1, part 2), I thought I'd share some of the books that have had the greatest impact on me this past year.

God's Big Picture by Vaughan Roberts
In many ways this is a more accessible version of Graeme Goldsworthy's Gospel and Kingdom. They both explain how the sixty-six books of the Bible fit together to form one, unified story--God's story of creation, the fall, redemption, and consummation.

Respectable Sins: Confronting the Sins We Tolerate by Jerry Bridges
Romans 3:23 says that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," but many Christians act as if their sin isn't grievous to God just because it might not be as "obvious" or damaging to those around them. This book does an excellent job of dispelling that myth and aims at helping people see just how desperately we all need God's grace.

Father, Son, and Holy Spirit: Relationships, Roles, and Relevance by Bruce Ware
The Trinity and Jesus' humanity/divinity are two of the more challenging doctrines of the Christian faith. How can one God exist in three persons? How can Jesus be fully man and fully God? This book is extremely helpful in trying to understand these important truths.

Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ by John Piper
Piper is an amazing writer; his writing is both poetic and easy to understand. This particular book does a great job explaining why Jesus is worthy of our worship.

The Assembly of "The Way" by Gregg Allison
This book hasn't actually been released yet, but we were fortunate to get a sneak preview. I'm sure glad we did. It was an amazingly thorough explanation of all that constitutes a church--doctrine, discipline, government, sacraments, etc.

Leading on Empty by Wayne Cordeiro
I read this around the time that Urban Meyer took a leave of absence from the University of Florida football program because of some health concerns. I kept thinking, "Man, he needs to read this book." And so do all leaders who push themselves beyond their limits without seeking God for renewal and strength.

Preaching the Whole Bible as Christian Scripture by Graeme Goldsworthy
In this book Goldsworthy builds upon his premise from Gospel Kingdom that Scripture is one overarching narrative and explains how this should impact the way a preacher preaches.

Lectures to My Students by Charles Spurgeon
I hadn't read much Spurgeon before this book, and my expectation was that it would be a thick theological read. But I was surprised to find that this book (a collection of lectures) was extremely personal and pastoral in nature.

Brothers, We Are Not Professionals by John Piper
Like Spurgeon's book, this was a helpful and practical look at what it means to be a pastor. Piper covers a variety of topics, including how to prepare a sermon and how to grow and mature as a pastor.

The Trellis and the Vine: The Ministry Mind-Shift that Changes Everything by Colin Marshall and Tony Payne
From what I can tell on the blogosphere, this is going to be an important book for everyone in vocational ministry. The premise is simple, but the application is essential: ministry is about seeing people grow in their relationship with Christ; putting in an inordinate amount of emphasis on systems and programs can detract from this purpose.

The Top Ten Mistakes Leaders Make by Hans Finzel
I think this book is a helpful companion to the above book. Finzel not only explains what these mistakes are (putting paperwork before peoplework, dictatorship in decision making, success without successors, etc.), he also provides practical solutions for correcting these mistakes.

Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die by Chip Heath and Dan Heath
I'm curious to know how many good ideas are out there floating around that never gain any traction, and as the Heath brothers would say, stick. This is another one of those simple, but essential books. It explores how to create and cast vision in a way that causes others to jump (and stay) on board.

In My Google Reader...

A few years ago, I enjoyed clicking through my favorite blogs every couple of days and enjoying the wit of a particular writer. That was until Cliff observed me doing this daily clicking and immediately set me up with a Google Reader account. I love how efficient my husband is!

Since the beginning of my Google Reader, I now have many more blogs that I keep up with and learn from. I always love finding a new recipe, discovering a new way of looking at life, or laughing at a picture posted.

These are some of my favorites:

The Pioneer Woman - Ree Drummond is hilarious! If you've never read about the life and hysterics of The Pioneer Woman, you must. From cooking to homeschooling to decorating to photography, she makes me smile.

Passionate Homemaking - I always appreciate Lindsay's ideas about how to better care for my home and family.

Practical Theology for Women - This blog is excellent! Wendy applies the Truths of Scripture to every day life.

Molly Piper - This blog is written by the daughter-in-law of Dr. John Piper. She writes candidly about her life as a wife and mother and the challenges that she has faced in losing a child. Her faith, strength, and humor are very encouraging to me.

I also read many blogs that my friends write, which I enjoy immensely. As I read them, I am always thankful that I get to benefit from their wisdom, humor, and experience in real life and not only in cyberspace!

What blogs do you enjoy?

Mackenzie's Book List...Update: Part 2

When choosing books to read this year, I did so before we learned of our infertility and before we felt compelled and called to adopt. Since that moment, there have been a number of resources that we've accessed to learn about adoption, understanding our call as Christians to care for orphans, and what that means for our family.

Books I've read that weren't on my initial 2010 reading list:

Adopted for Life by Russell Moore
This book was instrumental in shaping our understanding of how adoption is a joy and brought us to a crucial understanding of how we were adopted as sons and daughters into the family of God when we put our faith in Jesus Christ. Absolutely phenomenal book. Read Cliff's thoughts here.

Fields of the Fatherless by Tom Davis
This book was not as moving as others I've read, but it did provide some helpful perspective on the role that others can play in supporting an adoptive family. To care for orphans doesn't necessarily mean adopting one; there are many other ways to love and care for the fatherless.

Hannah's Hope by Jennifer Saake
As I mentioned in my review, apart from Scripture, this book has been the most helpful to me in processing our infertility.

Why Was I Adopted? by Carole Livingston
This book was recommended to me by a friend of a friend who was adopted as an infant. She remembers reading this book frequently with her sister and she shared how helpful it was in helping her understand adoption. I came home after that coffee date and looked on Amazon to find the book was out of print...one new copy for over $1000 and a couple of used copies for less than $3. I'm sure you can guess which one I purchased! It arrived yesterday and this book is truly a treasure...we're sure our kids will love it!

Mackenzie's Book List...Update: Part 1

Early this year, I posted about the books I planned to read in 2010, which I'd never done before. I created the list initially because I'm finding more and more that if I'm not intentional, things just won't happen. So far, I'm glad I've made the list. I've certainly added to it and read books beyond this list related to what God is teaching me at this moment, but here are my "quick takes" on the books I've read so far and what is still on my list...

Books I've read so far this year:
Death by Love: Letters from the Cross (Re:Lit) by Mark Driscoll & Gerry Breshears
Great book! I'm thankful that I get to hear from Pastor Mark each Sunday. I included more details in the review I wrote a few months ago.

Womanly Dominion: More Than A Gentle and Quiet Spirit by Mark Chanski
This book was a great reminder of the role God has called me to as a woman and as a wife and the priorities which He's outlined for me in His Word.

The Majesty of the Law by Sandra Day O'Connor
To be honest, I had a hard time with this book. I just couldn't get in to it. I am fascinated by politics, law, and government, but for some reason had a hard time with this one. Maybe it just wasn't the right time to read it...I think I'll give it another try.

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life (P.S.) by Barbara Kingsolver
This is one of my new favorites! I did not want it to end. I adored her entire chapter on squash! Read more of my thoughts here.

Real Food: What to Eat and Why by Nina Planck
Excellent book that opened my eyes to the importance of eating food that is "real"...food our grandparents or great-grandparents would have eaten. (No more margarine for our family!)

From Clutter to Clarity: Simplifying Life from the Inside Out by Nancy Twigg
This book was a helpful reminder, but nothing too surprising. I appreciated Ms. Twigg's emphasis on starting with prayer and submission to God in all things and not simply on the behavior modification of organizing my home. Read my previous post on this book here.

Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands by Paul David Tripp
I'm reading this book now and am learning so much about how to care for, talk with, and love other people in the midst of struggles. Excited to keep reading...

Books that I haven't read yet, but will soon:
Humility: True Greatness by C. J. Mahaney & Joshua Harris
The Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis
The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name by Sally Lloyd-Jones
Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist by John Piper
In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto by Michael Pollan

The Difficulty of Mother's Day

Last year was the first Mother's Day in my life where I had a desire to be a mom, was actively trying to become a mom, yet was not a mom. It was the first Mother's Day where I felt an ache for a child.

This year marks the second such Mother's Day. I still have a deep desire to be a mom, which I know comes from the Lord, but much is different this year.

• This year I know that the road to motherhood will look different for me than I once thought.
  
  
• This year my heart grieves for other women who desire to be mom's, yet aren't.
  
  
• This year I have a deeper understanding of God's plan for my life and the peace that can be found in trusting that His plan is far greater than my own.
  
  
• This Mother's Day we feel a profound call to adopt children, and I am thankful for the deep sense of direction that provides.

I have a friend who shared with me early in our struggle with infertility that it is possible to feel two emotions at one time: to rejoice with others, but still feel a longing within yourself. This is where I am this Mother's Day--rejoicing in the gift of motherhood, thankful for my mom and friends who are moms, sad that we are not yet parents, but praying that God would bless us with a child according to His perfect plan.

Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I Like Control

This week our car went in for an oil change and came out with hundreds of dollars in additional repairs and a long list of things that needed to be fixed or replaced, including new tires.

Expensive and not on my "to do" list. Stressful for me.

This week our washing machine has been sitting in the middle of our mudroom, because it is not draining properly and there is likely a clog in our main line somewhere. We tried to remedy the problem, but the tools we have are not adequate for the job. We need a plumber.

Out of my control, messy, and distracting. Stressful for me.

This week, I've officially come to terms with the fact that the mattress we purchased on the cheap six years ago is terrible and I believe causing me to have some minor back pain, which I'm sure will only become worse if we don't change the mattress.

Annoying. Stressful for me.

I often think about this fictitious, perfect time when all things are paid off, we have no surprise expenses, nothing ever breaks or becomes ineffective, and on, and on, and on...That just isn't reality in this life. (Thankfully it is in heaven!) The truth is, we live in a fallen, sinful world full of trouble, problems, inconveniences, and turmoil. Our cars, washing machines, mattresses, and our bodies, are failing. It is a good reminder to me that God is in control. He created everything that my eyes can see, my ears can hear, my fingers can touch, and everything beyond that.

A few months ago, during a particularly difficult moment of frustration over things not going my way, Cliff pointed me to Psalm 121. It has been a source of encouragement to me over the last few months, as well as a source of conviction. This text also provided an opportunity to confess that I don't always look to God for my hope or trust that He will keep me.

I pray this Psalm for myself and for you today--that we would be encouraged in the Truth that God keeps us and that ultimately our hope is in Jesus and not in a "perfectly" tidy home, life, job, bank account, etc.

Psalm 121
I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
My help comes from the LORD,
who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD is your keeper;
the LORD is your shade on your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
The LORD will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time forth and forevermore.

Suffering Well

Below is an exert that appeared on the Resurgence blog from Pastor Mark's new book, Doctrine. It explains that we image God (i.e. think, feel, act like him) when we suffer well.

When the clouds of trial, pain, loss, hardship, hurt, and tears roll in, we must never forget that our Lord Jesus Christ imaged God well even when suffering. When Jesus was hurting the most, as he hung on the cross for our sins, he reflected the mercy and justice of God perfectly.

Jesus invites us to not waste the worst moments and seasons of our life but rather consider them treasures to be invested purposefully in glorifying God by imaging the character of Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit. This is Jesus' point when he says, 'If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.'

Thankfully, unlike so many half-true theologies that speak only of the victories of Christian life and how to image God when we are winning, Jesus shows us that if our aim is to image God, then when we win and lose and as we live and die, every moment is a sacred opportunity to be captured for his glory, our joy, and others' good.

From Doctrine, Chapter 4. Image: God Loves (pgs. 141–142).

Marginless Living

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by your long list of "to do's" or stressed looking ahead to the next day, week, or month? I do. Usually because I've chosen to say "yes" more than I've said "no." Recognizing that life is busy, my dilemma becomes how I honor God in each moment of what sometimes feels like chaos.

Earlier this year, I attended a mid-week class at our church taught by Pastor Bill Clem (the Mars Hill Ballard campus pastor) on Spiritual Disciplines. He taught on Worship, Fasting, Sabbath, Solitude, and many other disciplines we as Christians can and should practice; not out of duty to be "good" people, but out of a desire to become more like Jesus and deepen our relationship with Him.

One of the things Pastor Bill shared that really resonated with me was the idea that most of us are living marginless lives. When we read a book, the designer of the text has placed open space around the outside edge of the page and space between paragraphs to help the reader access the text and be able to slow down, jot notes, or take a moment to think. Pastor Bill went on to say that many of us do not have these margins within our own lives - we pack our schedules so tightly that we don't/can't take the time to stop and pray with a friend, call our families, or be available to help those in need. He also noted that this marginless living was not only about our time, but we also do this with our money, so we don't have any "wiggle" room to bless others. That was very convicting for me. In many ways, I am living a marginless life.

So that begs the question...how can those margins become part of my life? How can I align my priorities so I'm not just running from one "to do" to another?

Lately, I've been praying that God would open my heart and build in me an understanding 0f the important versus the urgent and the necessary versus the unnecessary.

I am thankful that this week is my spring break; that I have some time to hit the "reset" button and focus on what is really important. In that, my desire is to have God-honoring priorities: time with God, time with Cliff, working in our home, and time with friends and family. I am praying that God would continue to teach me what it means to live a life with margins and how to honor Him with my priorities.

"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." -Matthew 6:33

Why Do People Reject Jesus?

A few weeks ago, Pastor Mark Driscoll, the preaching pastor at Mars Hill Church, where we've been attending for the past four years and where I've worked for nearly the last two years, taught from Luke 4:22-30.

In this passage, Jesus visits his hometown, Nazareth, and preaches to the people there. At first, they're excited to have him preach because he's gained quite a reputation in the area, but when he starts calling them out on their sin...well, their mood changes a bit--to the point that they're ready to throw him off a cliff.

From this text, Pastor Mark laid out eight reasons why people might reject Jesus:

1. Theology
2. Control
   
3. Greed
   
4. Selfishness
5. Familiarity
6. Comfort
7. Embarrassment
8. Religion

You can read more about these eight reasons for rejecting Jesus HERE or you can watch the whole sermon HERE.

Why We're Gardening

If you've been reading our blog the past few weeks, you've probably noticed a few posts about what we're doing in our garden and how we're doing it (1, 2). But before we get too far ahead of ourselves, I thought I'd take a moment to list a few reasons why we're gardening.

In no particular order:

1. It's an opportunity to learn something new.

2. It's something we can enjoy doing together.

3. It's an excuse to be outside.

4. It's a relatively inexpensive hobby.

5. In fact, we're hoping it will help supplement our grocery bill.

6. It's fun.

7. It's challenging.

8. It's an excuse to play in the dirt.

9. It's a chance to see and celebrate new life.

10. It's a way to further understand the abundance of agrarian imagery in the Bible.

To those of you who are fellow gardeners, why do you garden? To those of you who aren't, why not?

Overwhelmed

It has been an insane winter...full of crazy happenings, bizarre weather for the Pacific Northwest, and annoying episodes as homeowners.

It seems as though it has been one thing after another, with little reprise. It all began a few days ago with me (Mackenzie) driving into our driveway and realizing that the gate to our fence had blown off in a windstorm and was laying in the middle of our carport. (This reminded me of the night our screen door blew off in the gale force winds a few weeks earlier.) As I discovered this, Cliff called to say that he had noticed a crack in his windshield. A few days later we were unloading our trunk, went to close it and it bounced right back up. Ever needed a new trunk latch? We did!

The next day, we had snow again here in Seattle. All well and good except people are incapable of driving in such weather. I came home last Wednesday as it was snowing to find that the ceiling in our mud room/laundry room off of our kitchen had a bowed ceiling and paint was peeling from the wall. Even I could tell this was not good. After Cliff's 3 hour commute home in the snow (should take him 30 minutes) I got to tell him the good news that we needed some serious help. After a stressful night, conversations with insurance, and a couple of contractors we were feeling a bit better when we came out of the house to realize that one of our tires on our other car was completely flat. Needless to say, it did not need a small patch, but had to be completely replaced. Life has been an adventure!!! :)

Through it all, we are reminded time and time again how the things we are dealing with really are small and insignificant. BUT they are still stressful, annoying, bothersome, and worst of all for us -- expensive. We're really trying to see the positive in all of this...We're learning new things, experiencing the struggles of home-ownership, being challenged to work together, and meeting contractors along the way. :) Things have been a bit much, but I am reminded very often how truly blessed I am.

Love to you all...