Ellis Update: Pursuing Adoption

For those of you who didn’t know, Cliff and I have been trying to get pregnant for the last year and a half. For the first nine months or so, I wasn’t too concerned that we weren’t achieving a pregnancy and kept telling myself that it would take time. But in August of 2009, after about a year of trying, God used a sermon from Pastor Mark which dealt with infertility, a passage I read in Job 39, and the news from several friends that they were pregnant to help me realize my sin of self-reliance and my true feelings, which I had been blind to: I was sad we weren’t pregnant. That sadness coupled with conversations with Cliff, the urging of good friends, and much prayer prompted me to see my primary care physician for my annual appointment and to discuss our infertility.

That led us to see four different doctors, most of them fertility specialists, and complete a myriad of fertility tests for both Cliff and me before we were told that medically speaking, we have “less than a 2% chance of getting pregnant without medical intervention.” The doctors’ suggested course of treatment, based on Cliff’s abnormal semen analyses and my low progesterone levels was In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). We have decided not to pursue IVF because of the cost and our own comfort level.

One doctor suggested Intra Uterine Insemination (IUI), which is much less expensive than IVF. He put together a plan for us to try, and I was excited about the chance to at least try this procedure. But after prayerfully considering this option, both Cliff and I just have a “gut” feeling that we aren’t to pursue medical intervention for our infertility at this time. We are not opposed to medical intervention—just don’t feel called to pursue it.

On March 8, 2010, amidst many weeks of doctor appointments, we attended an Intro to Adoption class at Antioch Adoptions, which is a ministry of Antioch Bible Church. This amazing ministry offers adoptions at no cost to Christian families living in Western Washington. We learned about this ministry when we attended Antioch Bible Church before becoming members at Mars Hill Church.

God did a work in us at the Intro to Adoption class; we both left feeling very excited by the opportunity to adopt children. Since then, as we’ve prayed for clarity over whether to adopt or pursue medical intervention, God has overwhelmingly pointed us toward adoption and we are thankful for that direction.

Cliff and I have had a difficult few months, but have been amazed at how God has carried us through this. At no other point in my life have I ever felt such a deep connection to Jesus and comfort in my suffering. We have learned a lot, have been humbled by the love and support of friends and family, and are joyful about what God is doing in and through us.

We pray every day for the child or children God will bring into our home, whether through adoption or biologically. Our prayer is that ultimately, our hope is in Jesus, not in our desire for a child through adoption or pregnancy—that we would rely on Him for our comfort and peace.

In the coming weeks and months, we plan to give you periodic updates on where we are in the process and what God is doing in the midst of it. In the meantime, your prayers are greatly appreciated.

Please pray that we would keep our eyes on Jesus and not become entirely focused on our desire for children. Please ask us hard questions. Please know that we want to talk about this openly and honestly and that we’re thankful for friends and family to do that with. Please share with us what you’re struggling with and how we can pray for you.

A verse that has been of great comfort to us in the last few months and is written on our fridge indefinitely is James 1:2-3:

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.”