Contentment

This month, our church is doing a series of blog posts about Biblical Womanhood. Over the course of this month, many women from different stages of life are sharing what God is teaching them. I have been incredibly encouraged and humbled by the wisdom and grace of the women reflecting on their walks with Jesus.

Tonight as I sat down to catch up on my forever growing Google Reader, a post by Deacon Amy Lockman about Stewarding Singleness really spoke to my heart. You may be wondering how and why a blog about singleness would convict me. While Amy used illustrations related to singleness, her reflections were really about contentment. The questions she asked apply to anyone, any struggle, in any stage of life. The following section of her blog post was particularly poignant for me and will be part of my prayer time and reflections this week. Amy shared:

"Each time I start to struggle through my singleness, I have to ask myself the following questions:

• Do I trust that he has ordained my days? (Psalm 139: 5, 6, 16)
• Do I trust that he supplies all I need? (Matthew 6:32)
• Do I trust that never will he leave me or forsake me? (Joshua 1:5)
• Do I trust that who I am in Christ defines me? (Colossians 2:10)

If I am trying to just hang on until I get married and don’t accept my singleness in this season, then I am saying that these days that God has ordained are not enough, that he made a mistake and is a liar."

For me, it isn't about singleness, but infertility.

• Do I trust that God has ordained my days and the days of our children?
• Do I believe that God knows the exact moment we will have children and how they will come into our family?
• Do I define myself as a daughter of Christ or as a woman struggling with infertility?
• Am I content in where God has me right now or am I just hanging on until we adopt a child?
• Is God still good even if we never get pregnant?
• Is God still good even if we don't become parents?

I want to say I always answer a resounding yes to all those questions, but honestly apart from Jesus, I don't. I pray for strength daily, that by God's grace he would help me to be content in this struggle we're facing and continue to teach me in his ways.